Miscellaneous: Weird flex, but OK

Weird flex, but OK

By college estudiata - 27/06/2015 00:57

Today, I realized I need to get my life together after spilling ramen while taking a bath, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 151

You deserved it 7 419

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

Messy

By Anonymous - 03/11/2018 22:00

Today, after a long shift, I came home and cleaned my house so I could relax tomorrow. I finished up the night with a soothing bubble bath, which was lovely until the ceiling collapsed into the tub. I can't even wash the filth off because my bath is full of drain-clogging plaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 867

You deserved it 147

By Rayvyn - 21/10/2009 16:40 - United States

Today, I started feeling sick to my stomach. I tried to soothe it with some Ramen, which helped for a while. Later on, I felt worse and threw up the soup. Noodles came out of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 879

You deserved it 7 369

Get rid of the evidence!

By Anonymous - 18/08/2020 17:11

Today, while my roommate was taking a bath, I became horribly sick out of nowhere. Since the bathroom was occupied, I ended up having explosive diarrhea in an Amazon box in my bedroom, which I immediately ran out to the dumpster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 645

You deserved it 149

By Etta - 04/03/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, I stayed home from work, feeling ill. Come lunch time, I made myself some ramen noodles, thinking that the broth would feel good on my throat. Too bad I sneezed while carrying the bowl, dumping the boiling hot broth all down my front. The skin on my boob peeled away like tissue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 527

You deserved it 584

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 434

You deserved it 11 645

By youonlyneed2squares - 24/09/2014 04:10

Today, as I was lying in my bed eating my dinner, my roommate said to me, "I don't know how to say this, but we need more towels. The room is flooding." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 141

You deserved it 2 906

By Embarassed - 10/09/2009 05:32 - Canada

Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 578

You deserved it 8 108

By fatflabbyfail - 20/02/2010 06:09 - United States

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 147

You deserved it 42 309

By Lexi - 31/10/2009 20:15 - France

Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 212

You deserved it 36 242

Y'all need fiber.

By blondie875 - 26/05/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 509

You deserved it 1 372

player20270 32

Saturday 27 June 2015 23:58

That's not the meaning of "clean eating".

novdestiny 23

Saturday 27 June 2015 23:56

at least it would have been easy to clean up!

Comments

emseearedee 8

Sunday 28 June 2015 6:39

This is so relatable

idxntgiveafxck 17

Sunday 28 June 2015 7:03

I luv ramen

booterus 20

Sunday 28 June 2015 8:44

Oh, you mean that's not how you're supposed to eat ramen?

metalgearsoldier 6

Sunday 28 June 2015 10:39

this sounds like you have your life perfectly well together

adoracore 6

Sunday 28 June 2015 10:50

At least it didn't burn you!

NonoMeow 18

Sunday 28 June 2015 11:54

Oh, the magestic college student in it's wild habitat.

mosquito19 14

Sunday 28 June 2015 15:49

yes, eat cereal instead.

Xandrick 22

Sunday 28 June 2015 21:20

The name Filthy Frank comes to mind...

S1N9UL4R17Y 8

Sunday 28 June 2015 22:56

I fail to see the problem here...

awhite2018 6

Monday 29 June 2015 5:49

I spilt spaghetti in the tub the other night.

Keywords

Relatable Public freakouts Health Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Transportation Bikes Cops Kids Fight Family AITA Mother in law Miscellaneous Relationship advice Love Social Media Art Work Students Birds Sleep Noise Animals Mental health Contraception

The Top

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend for cheating on me. I refused his calls, so he texted, not to apologize, but to say I'd "left some clothes in his suitcase"; i.e., he stole some of my clothes. When he didn't get the response from me that he was hoping for, he texted, "I'm wearing your shorts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 120

Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 739

You deserved it 27 156

The Top

Today, I broke up with the guy I was seeing because he has a bad temper. He refused to believe me and decided that the best way to prove me wrong was to completely destroy my newly built house, inside and out, while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 954

You deserved it 1 693

Today, my 25-year-old daughter, who normally doesn't drive, was out using the family car when she came back annoyed and emotional over the "stupid" cars heating being broken. She said no matter how high she turned it up it was still blowing cold air. I checked and it was set to A/C the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 386

You deserved it 931

Today, I saw Thor and I wanted to see how realistic it was to be swinging a hammer around. Wrong idea. I ended up unconscious on the ground for ten whole minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 958

You deserved it 41 785

Today, my Christmas present from my boyfriend was chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 549

You deserved it 651

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 722

You deserved it 4 685

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 437

You deserved it 79 578