Intimacy: Use the force - FML

Use the force

By Anonymous - 11/08/2011 05:53 - Mexico

Spicy

Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 131

You deserved it 56 885

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Get it where you can

By Anonymous - 12/07/2023 17:00 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Spicy

Today, I finally broke and ordered a male sex toy, as though masturbating due to chronic singledom wasn’t sad enough, now I need a fleshlight to try and make the masturbating interesting enough to even bother anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 340

He knows the price of everything and the value of nothing

By padmelover - 27/08/2022 22:00

Today, my dad said I need to stop playing with toys and threw my lightsaber out of the window. It was a replica of the Lightsaber used by Mark Hamill, made from the same type handle from a 1970s camera, just like the film prop. It was over 40 years-old and worth thousands. Not anymore, as it's now scratched and in two pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 186

By Anonymous - 09/03/2011 01:15 - United States

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 761

You deserved it 7 936

One size fits all

By Anonymous - 18/06/2022 22:00

Spicy

Today, I bought an electric sex toy to make masturbating more interesting. My penis wasn’t long enough to reach the moving massaging parts on the inside, and just pathetically rested a few inches inside the opening. I could call it a bad design but I’d be lying, I just have a small dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 904

You deserved it 313

By TeeJay - 01/06/2009 14:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 454

You deserved it 7 475

War drums

By Taylor - 30/07/2011 05:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend started singing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 221

You deserved it 10 681

I think we're alone now

By lopez - 16/12/2008 03:58 - France

Spicy

Today, I needed to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone had left work, I decided that, since I AM a Jedi, my penis ought to be my lightsaber. All of a sudden, I heard a familiar voice, saying, "At least someone's having fun…" It was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 052

You deserved it 35 211

By rastafarimon - 17/04/2011 05:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 160

You deserved it 8 973

By a - 21/05/2009 19:18 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 031

You deserved it 49 640

By Average Lover - 27/10/2018 03:00

Spicy

Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 724

You deserved it 747

Next

Top comments

LukeFree 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 15:50

The force is strong with this one.....

IndiRae 9

Thursday 11 August 2011 15:50

You deserve it for calling it a Star Wars sword.

Comments

creedaddict 9

Thursday 11 August 2011 17:43

Have it shipped to u

Volti_fml 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 17:50

have you not heard if the internet? no Shame if its delivered!

Niikke 2

Thursday 11 August 2011 17:54

Just hoping it wasnt your kid's toy..and that you washed it before..and after...but thats ok! Sex would be boring if we were always scared to try on new things!

anniberry 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 17:55

Lmao girl you a trip I guess the sword saw the dark side lol but really girl Online makes the pain go away you won't have to be creeped out or nothing...

alcenwndrlnd 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 17:58

Since you called it a sword and not a lightsaber please tell me it wasn't someone else's........

smexehXredhead0 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 18:05

Going to get a sex toy isn't that bad, seriously. It sounds weird at first but it really isn't too bad once you go get it.

Harlequin073 6

Thursday 11 August 2011 18:07

High five!!!

MrsCantrell 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 18:10

It fun to go toy shopping, take a gf with you...

Furry_dude 6

Thursday 11 August 2011 18:11

I guess she really likes star wars?

johnnyboy12396_fml 4

Thursday 11 August 2011 18:13

Use the force yound padaoan !

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I agree, your life sucks 46 930

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