Work, Awkward and Drugs: Unreliable narrator

Unreliable narrator

By screwed - 20/03/2014 21:03 - United States - Amarillo

Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 181

You deserved it 69 974

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Same thing different taste

You laugh, you lose

By YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK - 03/11/2012 00:23 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 479

You deserved it 4 151

That went well

By not on life, that's for fucking sure - 25/10/2014 18:27 - United States

Today, I went to a big job interview. As I walked in, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Other highlights include my voice cracking multiple times, sweating profusely and getting uncontrollable nervous giggling. The interviewer eventually stared at me in disbelief and asked if I was high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 504

You deserved it 5 107

By BCBUDDY - 07/05/2011 15:29 - United States

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 433

You deserved it 91 857

High times

By Anonymous - 23/01/2016 10:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to give a joint presentation at college. My partner was so high, she couldn't even pronounce her own name properly in her introduction. I'm pretty sure her antics are going to get us both failed hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 027

You deserved it 1 628

By Jesse - 01/08/2009 19:24 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for the first time since I got my license. I have disorganized speech and occasional inappropriate emotional response. I began to laugh due to nervousness and when I tried to explain why, I was arrested because he thought I was high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 252

You deserved it 5 417

By Annomymous - 23/01/2015 18:12 - United States - Clarkston

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 878

You deserved it 4 889

Congratulations, you played yourself

By Anonymous - 28/07/2022 12:00

Today, I mistakenly texted my father in-law a photo of all my weed and all the joints I'd rolled. He’s also my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 1 512

Stoner

By Stoner - 25/04/2023 20:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was supposed to wash my wife's underwear, then go to work and interview a new educator at 10.30am. I ended up smoking weed, getting stoned, and sitting in my car at 11.00am at a McDonald's. I'm now sitting at my desk and still high as fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 2 029

By Dunzo15 - 02/05/2009 06:28 - United States

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202 358

You deserved it 51 752

Reefer madness

By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 12:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I told the coworker who sits next to me that I don't smoke weed anymore, after she brought a spliff to work. I then got called into the directors' boardroom to receive a warning for smelling like marijuana at work. I was only allowed one more warning before they were due to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 156

expectcriticism 13

Friday 21 March 2014 5:03

well maybe next time you'll think twice before jeopardizing something important like that. there are so many ways to calm your nerves rather than smoking weed so you completely deserve this one

LickitungJr 8

Friday 21 March 2014 5:02

... Yeah, you deserved it...

Comments

teagstew17 8

Friday 21 March 2014 17:39

Shoulda just had a toke from a one hitter buddy, I feel bad for ya but you really did deserve it…

maggiefox 25

Friday 21 March 2014 17:58

You're right... You aren't a smart man. Should've just done it sober, it wouldn't have killed you.

darkfireflame 15

Friday 21 March 2014 17:58

Yeah sorry dude, meditation, yoga, punching a bag, there's lots of other ways to relieve stress. YDI.

thew_fml 14

Friday 21 March 2014 19:07

at least learn your dosage. it takes time for the high to hit - if you don;t want to get baked you need to stop before you feel any effect, and wait for it. take a hit, not a whole joint

amoblisk 1

Friday 21 March 2014 19:38

How have you survived this long?

loserman67 35

Friday 21 March 2014 19:48

"Not a smart man" - what an understatement - you're a dumbass!

juan3611 14

Friday 21 March 2014 19:57

When you said you weren't a smart man you really meant it...

shinigami99 10

Friday 21 March 2014 20:15

I'm in highschool, and I smoke alot before and after school, so my personality is pretty well known among my friends and classmates as "stoned" , but dude, court is pretty serious. I wouldn't even smoke the same day as court. Except maybe after to celebrate if it went well. But you kinda deserved it, I mean even if you can function, you probably still smell like pot and that place is crawling with cops