Health: Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my...

By michelle91 - 02/12/2009 11:36 - Malaysia

Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 122

You deserved it 4 152

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Drunken NYE antics

By jeffprobs - 01/01/2022 07:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got drunk and hit her head at a New Year's party. I took her to the emergency room just in case as she was bleeding, but she protested, yelled at the nurse, and got kicked out. Now she’s arguing with me about whether or not a head injury warrants an emergency room visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 120

By Anonymous - 30/07/2012 06:41 - United States - Centralia

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious if she pulled a prank on me, so she did the classic "bucket of water on a door" one. I ended up getting stitches and a concussion on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 359

You deserved it 1 976

By anonymouss - 24/05/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 551

You deserved it 26 368

By man - 08/05/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 358

You deserved it 10 374

By Arielle - 31/01/2012 11:07 - Australia

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 588

You deserved it 4 397

Ice cold break-up

By Ice cold - 22/11/2012 05:35 - Australia - Cheltenham

Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 399

You deserved it 1 768

Acting out

By itsgotime - 20/03/2009 06:11 - United States

Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 338

You deserved it 7 901

STFU

By annoyedguy - 30/06/2009 11:20 - United States

Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 456

You deserved it 96 691

Young love

By Anonymous - 26/02/2022 02:00

Today, I had a horrible head injury that prevented me from going to my girlfriend's birthday party, and when my mom answered my phone, she thought my mom was a girl I was cheating with. Even after posting on Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat, in places she hasn't blocked me on, she just commented that I was faking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 95

By bcoper - 20/02/2010 14:03 - United States

Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 384

You deserved it 3 269

crazylady654 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 16:17

lol, that sux. dump her :)

infuzi0n 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 16:21

hey! today is MY birthday! why does your girlfriend always have to make it about her?!?

Comments

Riemurasia 0

Thursday 14 April 2011 13:00

I know a nice birthdaypresent for her: turning up to her home with a new girl. Seriously, break up with her!

sam175 1

Thursday 16 June 2011 14:40

what a bitch

lifeisabitch43 4

Sunday 3 July 2011 2:01

She is clearly a selfish bitch, dump her.

CuddleBunny02 6

Wednesday 13 July 2011 4:13

That is really ridiculous. She should have been concerned about your safety!

sweetalicious 1

Sunday 24 July 2011 11:31

kick her in the boob then dump her.

iBiteRoses 22

Wednesday 19 October 2011 8:28

#149 I lol'd so hard that my drink came out my nose a little.

EPICROCKERNINJA 8

Saturday 20 August 2011 6:17

Wow...

bacon4eva 0

Saturday 25 February 2012 21:31

You should dump her. She is obiviously the selfish one.

bacon4eva 0

Saturday 25 February 2012 21:31

You should dump her. She is obiviously the selfish one.

BlackCube2 2

Wednesday 11 April 2012 0:34

**** segregation

BlackCube2 2

Wednesday 11 April 2012 0:36

slap a hoe thats whats up

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Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 167

You deserved it 2 954

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 11 667

You deserved it 1 064

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I agree, your life sucks 2 209

You deserved it 346

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I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 101

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I agree, your life sucks 1 385

You deserved it 74

Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 638

You deserved it 3 515

Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 989

You deserved it 6 848