Intimacy: Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron...

By Sorry - 03/03/2010 16:22 - Canada

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 833

You deserved it 7 824

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 22:29 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 014

You deserved it 9 303

A for Effort

By Anonymous - 07/01/2021 20:01 - Australia

Today, I thought I would spice things up a bit and rocked my man's world, but in the kitchen. Apparently, some of his cum must have got on the tiles because I slipped on it 15 minutes later. In doing so I smacked my head on the fridge.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 666

By Gordon - 22/07/2009 14:12 - United States

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 691

You deserved it 6 761

By Anonymous - 03/04/2011 15:14 - United States

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 727

You deserved it 6 417

Classic Dave

By Sarahir - 29/04/2020 05:00

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 188

You deserved it 391

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 14:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 319

You deserved it 4 001

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 779

You deserved it 5 478

By sissica - 11/02/2009 23:52 - United States

Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 183

You deserved it 6 623

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 05:43 - Canada

Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 721

You deserved it 9 185

Busted

By Anonymous - 27/05/2016 19:09 - United States - Lady Lake

Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 798

You deserved it 7 227

snapdragons 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 20:05

**** his life actually

Pixie333 6

Wednesday 3 March 2010 20:04

...

Comments

mclovin99 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 1:33

hey it might of streched out a couple of inches after that

LevyLove 17

Thursday 4 March 2010 1:43

Lol I read a similar FML like this a while ago but from the husbands perspective... but fml for ur man

peasinacan 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 1:49

owieeee

sexychick129 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 2:00

damnnnnnnn that mustt suckk yooooo!!!!!!

lol4ever12321 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 2:46

DGros, #69. coinsidence? prolly not. wanna get 2gether?? ;-) haha

jessiii_xo 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 3:39

knob=penis? correct?

jakquezz 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 4:47

some kid tried to tell me off by telling me to suck his knob, i unofficially won the argument...

dealwithit84 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 6:23

what about him? you used his pokin' stick as a grab bar

say_vvhat 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 6:28

You outta be slapped.

shamille 5

Thursday 4 March 2010 7:22

oort, more like f his life. he's the one that got his junk yanked.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Weird My ex Shopping Awkward Racism Family Relatable Love AITA Kids Cheating Work Break-ups Animals Cats Cute Sex Intimacy Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Health Mental health Psychology Cops Neighbours Scary Parents Stressed out

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I agree, your life sucks 28 864

You deserved it 4 026

Today, I'm being forced to keep an eye on my cousin, who is getting married in the morning. He’s tried to marry his fiancé before and chickened out at the altar. For some reason she forgave him and now the bride's mother has made it my job to watch him like a hawk until after the "I Do-s", or else. FML

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You deserved it 84

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I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 67

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I agree, your life sucks 24 813

You deserved it 3 275

Today, I was taking a placement test for the new college I am going to. After the test and picking up a few numbers, I left with great pride. I opened the door and started walking out. I then realized that I had walked into the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 482

You deserved it 27 944

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I agree, your life sucks 52 289

You deserved it 7 870

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I agree, your life sucks 1 834

You deserved it 284

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 068

You deserved it 4 084

Same thing different taste

A for Effort

Classic Dave

Busted

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