Love: Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually... - FML

By great - 28/02/2015 16:23 - United States - Porter

Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 101

You deserved it 3 363

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By mike - 07/02/2010 07:16 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she'd carved her old boyfriend's name in her arm, and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 521

You deserved it 4 118

By BoredRunner42 - 07/09/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 629

You deserved it 6 571

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 10:16 - India

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 325

You deserved it 3 445

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 07:36 - United States - Goodyear

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 414

You deserved it 6 393

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 11:28 - United States - Manhattan Beach

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 966

You deserved it 2 106

By well i'm fucked - 03/02/2014 22:47 - United States - Aberdeen

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 165

You deserved it 6 846

Awks

By hungryman - 14/07/2009 21:10 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 651

You deserved it 9 104

By cheezmaster - 16/12/2009 23:55 - United States

Today, after many, many attempts to get her out of my life, the girl that is stalking me told me that she loves me and our love can only be ended by her killing either herself or me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 823

You deserved it 2 566

By Anonymous - 24/09/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 785

You deserved it 13 634

By thanksbabe - 12/01/2013 06:32 - United States

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 091

You deserved it 8 569

Next

Top comments

kangx1 28

Sunday 1 March 2015 5:55

Just casually lure her to an asylum

mikepzz 27

Sunday 1 March 2015 5:53

You should hop on the nope train and run as fast and as far away as possible.

Comments

SookyLala 13

Sunday 1 March 2015 22:33

Tell her shes a dopey attention seeker, and leave her. call an ambulance after

SasquatchDeluxe 10

Sunday 1 March 2015 22:35

Looks like you're trapped. I hope at least the sex is good.

laughingtoohard 14

Sunday 1 March 2015 22:38

Make plans to move out of town on the NOPE express

rocketgurl 15

Sunday 1 March 2015 22:59

Run OP, run.

Kramer1998 20

Sunday 1 March 2015 23:51

Take her to a therapist, if this doesn't work then fake your death, learn French, hope over the border to Quebec City, and live your life on as Jean Garçon.

victorvldv 8

Monday 2 March 2015 0:40

Someone call Hitchcock

EmoKami 21

Monday 2 March 2015 1:48

Time to cut to the chase and admit this poor girl...you can't just live on a razors edge, it's emotional suicide!

metalbass 6

Monday 2 March 2015 1:55

Dude, forget her and run. NOW!

Starham1 14

Monday 2 March 2015 2:22

Well, if my girlfriend ever says this, I would dump her just to see if she really meant it.

Dkman 11

Monday 2 March 2015 6:20

In the words of a Tom hank classic. "RUN FOREST, RUN

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Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Love Work Students Relatable Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Cheating Teenagers Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Revenge Boredom

The Top

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 488

You deserved it 183 652

Today, I asked a girl at work out, who'd claimed she was single. Not ten minutes later, our boss fired me. Turns out that girl is actually his side chick he cheats on his wife with, even though she’s 19 and he’s 48. Not illegal, just scummy as hell, and he fired me out of jealousy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 100

The Top

Today, I had to explain racism to my son after some of his school friends were talking about it. Another parent then stormed up to us, pissed off because even though I was explaining how bad racism is, just talking about it is itself racist, and he was offended by me. He made my son cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 233

Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 643

You deserved it 36 721

Today, I recently found out that I have a uterus and ovaries, even though I was born male. I told my doctor about my monthly pain, he did some blood tests and body scans, and then told me I have a uterus and ovaries but no vagina or birth canal. That explains my monthly pains since my teen years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 97

Today, it's my birthday, and the only male attention I've had in months is when the dog greeted me with his red rocket out and his tail wagging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 205

Today, I learned the hard way how easy it is to get on my boss's bad side. We were talking about reality TV shows and I'd mentioned how much I despise Snooki, and how useless to the planet she is. Now I fear for my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 251

You deserved it 6 368

Today, I've been getting terrible backlash from the neighbors after I forbade my kids from hanging out with one of the neighborhood kids. They think I dislike her because she’s trans. The truth is she’s rude, disrespectful, has been in several fights and had run ins with the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 85