Intimacy: Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with...

By whoops - 25/05/2014 21:23 - United States - Spring Hill

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 042

You deserved it 10 204

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Same thing different taste

By Allie - 03/06/2010 18:58 - United States

Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but my iPhone changed it to "I need anal." I sent it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 052

You deserved it 26 494

By ... - 04/01/2014 05:25 - United States

Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 359

You deserved it 8 783

By Anonymous - 05/08/2011 04:18 - United States

Today, my friend's dad had a heart attack. Without realizing what I was saying, I texted her, "If you need anything, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 254

You deserved it 13 257

By Anonymous - 13/08/2012 18:48 - United Kingdom - Goole

Today, I was feeling really down, so I texted my boyfriend, hoping to get some emotional support. He texted me back twenty minutes later, asking for nude pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 050

You deserved it 5 211

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 335

You deserved it 28 315

By Anonymous - 31/07/2018 01:30

Today, I was woken up by an overly sappy good morning text from my boyfriend, complete with kissy-face images. Before I could text him back, he sent a follow-up. "Oops. Wrong person." Wait, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 003

You deserved it 320

By Anonymous - 19/09/2018 22:15

Today, I was flirting with a guy and we ended up having a deep conversation through text. We were talking all our problems, and saying really sweet things to each other. I THOUGHT he was going to say something else really sweet and cute. He linked me to Suicide Hotline instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 928

You deserved it 540

By Aus - 26/04/2012 14:43 - United States

Today, I received a text from the guy I'm into, thanking me for helping him drunkenly stumble back to his apartment last night. He ended it with, "How long did you stay?" Apparently, he doesn't remember confessing his secret love for me, or the fantastic kiss that followed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 005

You deserved it 4 201

LOL

By iPhonekid - 27/05/2012 07:19 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back, saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 473

You deserved it 7 852

Whatsapp? Not much

By Cat - 12/04/2019 19:00 - Greece - Athens

Today, I was Whatsapping my boyfriend, as I am away for work. Before talking to him, I texted my work group I wasn’t feeling well after they invited me out. As I was chatting with what I thought was my boyfriend, I said, “I want your penis inside me.” And then realized I'd texted my work group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 308

You deserved it 3 716

kelsorg 21

Monday 26 May 2014 2:02

you better own up to your word lol

elijahisaboss 10

Monday 26 May 2014 2:03

My question is what did he say

Comments

buckdharma 36

Monday 26 May 2014 5:47

Buy him a tooth brush and he'll really be confused.

Enslaved 36

Monday 26 May 2014 7:51

Especially if the toothbrush brand is an ORAL-B(j).

captainsmegma 12

Monday 26 May 2014 6:21

You the man! !

graceinsheepwear 33

Monday 26 May 2014 6:33

Tell him you meant you'd be a sympathetic ear; you know, aural support.

Zebediabolical 39

Monday 26 May 2014 6:36

Here's hoping he takes you up on it!

Pointy 12

Monday 26 May 2014 6:37

Well did u give it to him?

adjwejaelwkdc 21

Monday 26 May 2014 7:35

Sounds like it sucks to be you.

Xeebar 28

Monday 26 May 2014 7:39

So you'll talk to him like a good friend should then. Good.

BrotherPhil 35

Monday 26 May 2014 8:32

Now there's a real friend.

Mama4ddk 15

Monday 26 May 2014 8:33

just tell him that you meant from a girl, you would help him find one. Lol either that or tell him that your phone is dyslexic.lmao good luck

EmiliaB 12

Monday 26 May 2014 8:50

He just got opposite friend-zoned.

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The Top

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend for cheating on me. I refused his calls, so he texted, not to apologize, but to say I'd "left some clothes in his suitcase"; i.e., he stole some of my clothes. When he didn't get the response from me that he was hoping for, he texted, "I'm wearing your shorts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 120

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 684

You deserved it 11 188

The Top

Today, while waiting on the platform, a blind man asked out loud for some help getting into the subway car. I helped him through the doors and into a seat. I decided to sit down as well. Twenty minutes later, I realized I was on the wrong subway line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 715

You deserved it 6 914

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109 945

You deserved it 6 112

Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 200

You deserved it 2 354

Today, I decided to make homemade french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 613

You deserved it 28 331

Today, I ran into the guy I’ve been seeing. He was holding hands with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 675

You deserved it 166

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 555

You deserved it 2 553

Same thing different taste

LOL

Whatsapp? Not much

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