Intimacy: Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing...

By Anonymous - 15/02/2010 01:49 - United States

Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 594

You deserved it 2 547

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Andrew - 20/04/2011 16:31 - United States

Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 375

You deserved it 11 721

By Helen - 10/11/2012 10:15 - United States - Pine Bluff

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 047

You deserved it 3 081

By Anonymous - 28/12/2017 06:00

Today, I went home with a guy I met at the bar. I warned him that I was on my period, but he said it was fine. Not only was the sex awful, I woke up to find that he'd smeared period blood on my face in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 906

You deserved it 7 151

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 198

You deserved it 4 579

By dantko - 01/01/2014 05:04 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 102

You deserved it 5 315

Romantic mood

By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 02:00

Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuck buddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 187

You deserved it 200

By vegas-81 - 10/02/2014 03:39 - France

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 641

You deserved it 16 458

Waste of time

By I'mmessedup - 29/09/2021 22:59

Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 110

You deserved it 530

Too much information

By Anonymous - 28/06/2022 10:00 - United States - Peyton

Today, my wife of twelve years got drunk and told me the best sex she’s ever had was with her first ex after they broke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 180

By Husband - 13/03/2017 18:00

Today, my wife called to me from across the house just to look at the penis-shaped period bloodstain on the back of her underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 460

You deserved it 903

seanseansean321 0

Monday 15 February 2010 9:32

time to ditch her and find you a new lady :/

Laurendorcus 0

Monday 15 February 2010 9:42

You should get her saying that on tape and play it back to the judge during your divorce hearing. :-)

Comments

nvrendinluv 0

Saturday 17 April 2010 0:30

dump her!!

TrueRaiderFan22 0

Monday 31 May 2010 5:50

somebody married a s l u t. huh who said that. > >. < <. : ) --- ---

doggie3 0

Sunday 6 June 2010 14:59

seanseansean321: no you didn't.

birdfreak 24

Tuesday 10 May 2011 5:24

what's the occasion?

Fmlsomuch133 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 8:10

Think its time to cut your losses and lose the ****

gigglepuff 3

Saturday 18 June 2011 11:53

@#29...ummm 7 days?...don't think soXD eww....any way fhl for being a sleez.....I think I sense a double tit punch in her future followed by a red lobster special kick in the ass out the door.. lmao