Kids: Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into...

By Ramis182 - 03/10/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 748

You deserved it 6 011

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By afather - 14/06/2015 13:41 - United States - Worthing

Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 389

You deserved it 6 525

By bellabreeze - 09/08/2012 03:29 - United States - Lebanon

Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 128

You deserved it 3 354

By Anonymous - 15/09/2013 04:02 - United States

Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 496

You deserved it 6 567

By Stigmamma - 12/05/2019 04:00

Today, my 12-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter sprayed themselves with a ton of deodorant and perfume respectively. The two clouds of spray have combined into a noxious gas that slowly traveled through the house, giving everybody an instant, massive headache. Everybody, except my son and daughter. They think they smell great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 972

You deserved it 251

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 06:13 - Australia

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 388

You deserved it 17 295

By don'tdrinkthat - 03/11/2013 22:27 - United States - Quincy

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 251

You deserved it 4 817

By Failed Parent - 11/10/2012 06:59 - United States

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 925

You deserved it 4 635

By Anonymous - 13/10/2014 00:38 - United States - Racine

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 006

You deserved it 5 171

By richkief76 - 10/05/2011 02:34

Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 973

You deserved it 8 324

By eenkoekje - 13/05/2011 07:20

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 319

You deserved it 15 913

Wreckless_fml 6

Monday 3 October 2011 12:01

Sounds like a winner to me.

saIty 17

Monday 3 October 2011 12:10

He probably saw the axe commercial. He wants the chicks all over his mouth.

Comments

nativepimp 1

Monday 3 October 2011 20:09

He probably got high as hell

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 3 October 2011 20:19

His breath must have smelled like satans arse gas for him to be desperate/dumb enough to try that...

baybritbal 0

Monday 3 October 2011 20:41

Maybe if his parent didn't spend time on FML like a teenager he might have known better.

bubo_fml 10

Monday 3 October 2011 22:02

I shudder to think what he'd do if he has excessive flatulence!

DomoLaDii 8

Monday 3 October 2011 22:06

tell him to finish himself!

djhall97 0

Monday 3 October 2011 22:23

Wow definetly college material i would say...lol

cretan 4

Monday 3 October 2011 22:33

Stupid is as stupid does

joelsuperman 3

Monday 3 October 2011 23:02

sounds like he's trying to get high

oboewhore_xD 6

Monday 3 October 2011 23:13

No, it's okay. These were all pretty pointless comments.

dogpup4 23

Monday 3 October 2011 23:18

I accidentally did that once.. Didn't pass out but I didn't stop washing my mouth out for 10 minutes!

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Kids Cute Money Birthday Weird Awkward Health Love Abuse Relatable Social Media Scams Education School Parents Teenagers Anger issues Family Relationship advice Capitalism Miscellaneous Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee

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Today, my dad, who never supported us growing up, and who calls once a month to collect his monthly living expenses, gave me an ultimatum: either buy him a plane ticket so that he can come live with me forever (he's a raging alcoholic) OR to send him $4,500 US Dollars (which where he lives is someone's 6 month salary). FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 106

Today, I had to call social services after a couple once again brought their baby in with severe allergic reactions. His allergy? The family dog. These idiots would rather let their kid die than get rid of the stupid mutt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 121

The Top

Today, while I was out of the office, I'd left my phone charging inside. My boss informed me that since I am clearly running up her electricity bill, it will be deducted out of my already nearly non existent paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 326

You deserved it 4 362

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 186

You deserved it 46 848

Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 192

You deserved it 53 542

Today, the satellite radio at work went on the fritz, playing one song over and over. Management wouldn't turn it off, though, because then customers would miss out on all those upcoming-sale announcements that run intermittently. Meanwhile, I got to listen to "Footloose" for eight hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 438

You deserved it 2 490

Today, I volunteered to tend bar at a friend's charity event. I was called incompetent and had a drink thrown at me for stirring a martini instead of shaking "like they do in James Bond". I've been tending bar for 30 years and have never had a drink thrown at me before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 759

You deserved it 330

Today, after not being on the schedule for a week, I checked to see what my next shift was, only to find my employee profile edited to 'disabled' and still no hours or word from any managers. This after weeks of showing up at the drop of a hat when needed for any position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 71

Same thing different taste

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