Kids: Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into...

By Ramis182 - 03/10/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 748

You deserved it 6 011

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Same thing different taste

By afather - 14/06/2015 13:41 - United States - Worthing

Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 389

You deserved it 6 525

By bellabreeze - 09/08/2012 03:29 - United States - Lebanon

Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 128

You deserved it 3 354

By Anonymous - 15/09/2013 04:02 - United States

Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 496

You deserved it 6 567

By Stigmamma - 12/05/2019 04:00

Today, my 12-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter sprayed themselves with a ton of deodorant and perfume respectively. The two clouds of spray have combined into a noxious gas that slowly traveled through the house, giving everybody an instant, massive headache. Everybody, except my son and daughter. They think they smell great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 972

You deserved it 251

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 06:13 - Australia

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 388

You deserved it 17 295

By don'tdrinkthat - 03/11/2013 22:27 - United States - Quincy

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 251

You deserved it 4 817

By Failed Parent - 11/10/2012 06:59 - United States

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 925

You deserved it 4 635

By Anonymous - 13/10/2014 00:38 - United States - Racine

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 006

You deserved it 5 171

By richkief76 - 10/05/2011 02:34

Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 973

You deserved it 8 324

By eenkoekje - 13/05/2011 07:20

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 319

You deserved it 15 913

Wreckless_fml 6

Monday 3 October 2011 12:01

Sounds like a winner to me.

saIty 17

Monday 3 October 2011 12:10

He probably saw the axe commercial. He wants the chicks all over his mouth.

Comments

jesskaisns 5

Monday 3 October 2011 14:43

My brother has tried that. Except his 19

jayyw5 3

Monday 3 October 2011 14:54

Pretty sure he was trying to get a high dear, not get fresh breath. Sorry, but your son lied to you.

chels1994 11

Monday 3 October 2011 14:58

i'd date him :p

Zaffro 8

Monday 3 October 2011 14:59

What a pudding...

toalysium 15

Monday 3 October 2011 15:13

Who allowed you to breed?

THE_A_TEEN 27

Monday 3 October 2011 15:23

me, god. Problem?

babybrunette128 8

Monday 3 October 2011 15:26

You raised a genius!

mistersheezy 7

Monday 3 October 2011 15:33

Too much time, not enough sense.

durkagihad 12

Monday 3 October 2011 15:35

Relax, he's probably just high.

outbackbyrd 7

Monday 3 October 2011 15:38

Congrats, you've raised an idiot. YDI

nateiztite 5

Monday 3 October 2011 15:39

I was just thinking about doing the same thing the other day and I didn't do it good thing I didn't im also 17 fml

Keywords

Video games Annoying Gamers Birthday Money Cute Kids Love Health Awkward Weird Relatable Abuse Social Media Scams Parents School Education Anger issues Teenagers Family Relationship advice Miscellaneous Capitalism Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I had to spend at least 30 minutes, at 3 in the morning, shooting BBs at a mateless whip-poor-will to scare it off so I could sleep. It was making noise in a tree right outside my window. I feel for you my dude, but you're doing the equivalent of drunk texting an ex and crying into your beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 295

Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

You deserved it 184

The Top

Today, I jumped into a pile of snow which had built up against a wall. Turns out it wasn't snow but a pile of cement covered by an inch of snow. I now have a 3 inch cut along my leg and a sprained wrist from falling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 656

You deserved it 29 127

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 147

You deserved it 39 583

Today, I was performing in the musical 'Cabaret'. I was playing a Nazi soldier, swastika armband and all. Someone thought it would be funny to take my real clothes while I was on stage. I had to walk a mile back my house with my costume on. Someone threw eggs at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 448

You deserved it 5 591

Today, while shaving I accidentally shaved of half of my left nipple. Worst of all? I didn't notice it until I looked down and saw blood everywhere. That's when the pain hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 981

You deserved it 470

Today, I was at a dinner with my dad's girlfriend's family. I met this guy who I found kind of cute and tried to talk to him a couple times. To avoid talking to me he started playing his PSP. I could see the screen perfectly and the PSP was clearly off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 969

You deserved it 6 145

Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 439

You deserved it 3 681

Same thing different taste

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