Miscellaneous: Today, my mother gave me an early Christmas present; a Bissell... - FML

By Anonymous - 15/10/2010 22:52 - United States

Today, my mother gave me an early Christmas present; a Bissell mop so I can "do a better job" when I "clean her floors". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 012

You deserved it 3 964

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Same thing different taste

By messyvictor - 28/01/2012 16:19 - United States

Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 394

You deserved it 3 078

By leahkasscar - 03/05/2017 16:00

Today, I decided to clean the whole house as a surprise for my mother. When she came home, she screamed at me and called me a bitch because she had wanted to clean it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 044

You deserved it 366

By Anonymous - 16/07/2010 23:43 - United States

Today, I learned that my mom's laptop was originally my Christmas gift. She opened it and decided she liked it so much she should have it. I got hot rollers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 754

You deserved it 2 733

By gypsy - 24/06/2011 02:00 - Australia

Today, I hired a cleaner to clean my apartment so when my in-laws visited tonight, they wouldn't think I was lazy. I got home from work, the cleaner hadn't shown at all, and my in-laws had arrived early. My mother-in-law is now mopping the floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 280

You deserved it 37 735

I am hungry

By Hungry - 23/12/2019 01:00

Today, I thought my mother was coming into my room to give me lunch. She gave me cleaning supplies instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 3 154

Get Out

By Anonymous - 25/07/2013 06:04 - Australia - Mulgrave

Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 136

You deserved it 8 132

Christmas hint

By SpongeBob - 26/12/2022 18:00

Today, my wife gave me my Christmas gift, a novelty kitchen sponge, then suggested I try it out on the sink full of dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 1 033

By Anonymous - 23/12/2016 19:12

Today, my sister gave me a early Christmas present. It's lice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 540

You deserved it 513

By Anonymous - 08/09/2015 18:46 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I told my boss I need a scrub brush to properly clean the stairs at my workplace. She gave me an old toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 357

You deserved it 1 858

Priorities

By Anonymous - 09/07/2021 13:01 - United States - Floral Park

Today, my mother flipped out that I spent $20 on a gift for myself for my birthday. Instead of getting a gift for me, she spent $300 on a new vacuum cleaner, and claims that we didn't have enough left in our budget to spend on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 120

Next

Top comments

aliaysleighbasic 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 2:10

get her some laundry detergent and an iron and give her the same crap reasoning back about taking care of your clothes... people don't like it when the tables are turned back at em.

Elphie7 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 1:52

you're lucky you have floors to mop.

Comments

cybermolly10 7

Saturday 16 October 2010 6:11

She was just joking about it being an Xmas present. Just do a good job cleaning the floors and show Santa how nice you are, then you'll get some extra presents.

jazmixer 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 6:17

well it will get you prepared for or if you get married.

ObviouslyJesus 1

Saturday 16 October 2010 6:20

You're gay and your mom is a ****

CallMeHush 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 6:21

Well Cindy, your step-sisters would love to help you but they must get ready for the ball.

squad81 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 6:44

lucky!! I only got an xbox!! :P

mightymart 5

Saturday 16 October 2010 6:49

hope you behave now!!

blacknazi818 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 7:39

i will have a model wife your bitch is as hot as ice everytime you see me i look like i hit the lotto twice

mywinterprincess 3

Saturday 16 October 2010 7:44

atleast you get christmas gifts. Lol

Autoshot 9

Saturday 16 October 2010 7:48

YDI you ******* ingrate.

FYLminerocks 7

Saturday 16 October 2010 7:56

For her birthday get her a parenting book so she could "do a better job".

monkey3485 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 15:59

there ya go!

FYLminerocks 7

Saturday 16 October 2010 18:49

that icecream looks so good right now...

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The Top

Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 73

Today, I was working at the pharmacy and had a older man come in. He was buying Viagra and, by law, we are required to ask if the patient had any questions. His lovely response was, "When you coming over so I can test this stuff out?" His wife and daughter thought it was hilarious. I could've died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 848

You deserved it 635

The Top

Today, I had to pee during a supervised lockdown. I asked my teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to my dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking for someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including my principal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 487

You deserved it 5 246

Today, my friend asked me to order take out for him because he gets nervous on phones. I called a Chinese restaurant, only to get nervous, and hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 587

You deserved it 7 643

Today, I was really hungry at work, and my stomach growled loudly. One of my co-workers heard it and thought it was a cat. Ashamed, I played dumb and we ended up spending twenty minutes looking for a cat that I knew didn't exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 010

You deserved it 19 445

Today, I was using the same metal spoon to stir boiling noodles and the pasta sauce I was heating up. I decided to taste the sauce and see if it was getting warm, forgetting that the spoon was sitting in boiling water three seconds earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 1 081

Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 427

You deserved it 8 717

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me because he doesn't want his mom "watching from heaven." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 718

You deserved it 7 864