Miscellaneous: Today, my mother gave me an early Christmas present; a Bissell... - FML

By Anonymous - 15/10/2010 22:52 - United States

Today, my mother gave me an early Christmas present; a Bissell mop so I can "do a better job" when I "clean her floors". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 012

You deserved it 3 964

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By messyvictor - 28/01/2012 16:19 - United States

Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 394

You deserved it 3 078

By leahkasscar - 03/05/2017 16:00

Today, I decided to clean the whole house as a surprise for my mother. When she came home, she screamed at me and called me a bitch because she had wanted to clean it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 044

You deserved it 366

By Anonymous - 16/07/2010 23:43 - United States

Today, I learned that my mom's laptop was originally my Christmas gift. She opened it and decided she liked it so much she should have it. I got hot rollers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 754

You deserved it 2 733

By gypsy - 24/06/2011 02:00 - Australia

Today, I hired a cleaner to clean my apartment so when my in-laws visited tonight, they wouldn't think I was lazy. I got home from work, the cleaner hadn't shown at all, and my in-laws had arrived early. My mother-in-law is now mopping the floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 280

You deserved it 37 735

I am hungry

By Hungry - 23/12/2019 01:00

Today, I thought my mother was coming into my room to give me lunch. She gave me cleaning supplies instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 3 154

Get Out

By Anonymous - 25/07/2013 06:04 - Australia - Mulgrave

Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 136

You deserved it 8 132

Christmas hint

By SpongeBob - 26/12/2022 18:00

Today, my wife gave me my Christmas gift, a novelty kitchen sponge, then suggested I try it out on the sink full of dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 1 033

By Anonymous - 23/12/2016 19:12

Today, my sister gave me a early Christmas present. It's lice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 540

You deserved it 513

By Anonymous - 08/09/2015 18:46 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I told my boss I need a scrub brush to properly clean the stairs at my workplace. She gave me an old toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 357

You deserved it 1 858

Priorities

By Anonymous - 09/07/2021 13:01 - United States - Floral Park

Today, my mother flipped out that I spent $20 on a gift for myself for my birthday. Instead of getting a gift for me, she spent $300 on a new vacuum cleaner, and claims that we didn't have enough left in our budget to spend on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 120

Next

Top comments

aliaysleighbasic 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 2:10

get her some laundry detergent and an iron and give her the same crap reasoning back about taking care of your clothes... people don't like it when the tables are turned back at em.

Elphie7 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 1:52

you're lucky you have floors to mop.

Comments

biskitbukit 7

Saturday 16 October 2010 8:46

Well, you do a bad job and btw it's not a Christmas gift.

psaphier 9

Saturday 16 October 2010 9:04

how much do you charge to do large houses?

mintcar 9

Saturday 16 October 2010 9:42

OP, Swiffer gives cleaning a whole new meaning. Duh. She clearly should've went with a Swiffer. Well, there's always your birthday.

kratos1586 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 10:02

hey u should be grateful!....now wen u clean it will b easier ^_^

iheartglasses 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 12:40

Id still do a crappy job to make her mad

monkey3485 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 15:35

I just got one of those for my birthday! but I asked for it :)

FunnyAllDaTime 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:07

I want one

whitey5231 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 21:37

your moms a bitch I'm sorry fyl

stevenmx86 7

Saturday 16 October 2010 22:43

Is cleaning her floors something sexual? Why is it in quotes? Like "shave the runway" or something lol

smashgrab 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 22:56

Well? Get to moppin!

3
4
5
6
7

Keywords

Video games Gamers Love Weird Gross Health First Dates Smells Technology Parents Kids Annoying Jealousy Dogs Animals AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Relatable Gun control Amazon Money Cute Birthday Awkward Abuse Scams Social Media

The Top

Today, my crush let me know that he has a prom date. Obviously I'm supportive because I just want him to be happy, even if it's not me. I casually let him know that I'm going with someone else too, and now he's really mad about it. If he'd asked me before, I would've said yes. Like… Hello? How dare I get a prom date! FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 96

Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 423

You deserved it 366

The Top

Today, I started feeling sick to my stomach. I tried to soothe it with some Ramen, which helped for a while. Later on, I felt worse and threw up the soup. Noodles came out of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 879

You deserved it 7 369

Today, I'm now at the point in my marriage where I’ve stopped caring, so when my wife says, “I’m fine” I’m going to treat her like she’s fine. I’ll maybe post an update with details of how long she goes from, “I’m fine” to screaming at me for not playing along with her mind games anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 155

Today, I thought it was about time to learn to ride a bike as an adult. I wobbled down the street, lost my balance, and crashed into a parked ice cream truck. The owner yelled at me, and I was left with a bruised ego and no ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 191

Today, my grandmother updated her will. Previously, it denied inheritance to family members with non-white spouses, and any mixed-raced children. Now it does the same with politically correct terminology. She then bragged about how accepting she is in front of my Korean husband and our daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 979

You deserved it 3 680

Today, I told my friend I was considering adopting a dog. She looked at me like I was Satan and went on a rant about how dogs are "born evil" and will always maul someone given the chance. I still have the marks from when one of her psycho cats sliced open my arm last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 815

You deserved it 1 736

Today, I got to listen while my grandma, who has dementia and therefore a poor memory, explained to me why the old man on TV was a sex god. She forgot everything once she said it. I got to listen to her explanation five times over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 110

You deserved it 2 551