Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told...

By Noname - 25/02/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told me the key to a happy/successful relationship was "letting your man explore ALL your orifices." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 774

You deserved it 4 187

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Same thing different taste

By Ohai - 16/01/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 560

You deserved it 3 071

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 813

You deserved it 37 514

By lisahb - 19/06/2012 22:16 - United States - Detroit

Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 473

You deserved it 3 315

By Anonymous - 25/10/2016 08:31

Today, without thinking, I casually advised my mum that the best way to get the piping nozzle clean is to 'fingerfuck' it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 921

You deserved it 4 864

By Anonymous - 27/11/2009 21:45 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 176

You deserved it 3 646

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 105

By saddened97 - 20/01/2011 09:39 - Australia

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 690

You deserved it 12 887

By Mak1 - 05/12/2008 08:12 - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 724

You deserved it 4 686

You what?

By charliesangel123 - 21/02/2010 17:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 484

You deserved it 3 710

By robotchickens - 10/03/2010 19:54 - United States

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 166

You deserved it 2 707

burdenofaday 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 17:10

Haha. Your mom likes buttsex.

Sciamachy 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 13:33

Wow... so your mom is into aural & nasal sex too?!

Comments

nickk55 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 4:14

why is only your mom handing out this priceless bit of advice lol

farmtireguy 2

Thursday 21 July 2011 20:59

no #9 is talk about the ear not mouth

leesh85k 0

Saturday 24 September 2011 12:13

Talk about overshare from mum!!! Lol

rootbeerfanatic 6

Saturday 8 December 2012 0:14

Yeah i tried that on my boyfriend. Didn't work. They're all gung ho about shoving stuff up our asses but not theirs

TheCerealKiller 24

Monday 23 September 2013 23:34

At least it wasn't your grandmother giving you this advice.

Onyx3288 22

Sunday 15 June 2014 5:44

She's not wrong though....

Biofire 8

Friday 20 June 2014 3:25

Well your mom is right .

Keywords

Management Work Jealousy Love Relatable Mental health Relationship advice Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food Birthday Family Money Mother in law Gifts Parents Public freakouts Education Students Exams Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

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Today, my ex asked me to return a sweater he'd gifted me back in the day. He didn’t even thank me, just said he’d catch me at lunch but never did. Work was tedious yet even then I didn’t leave without shooting him a goodbye text, only for him to say, “Oh my bad, I already left.” I still love him but it’s clearly one-sided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 589

Today, I was supposed to be working from home. Instead, I ended up taking the kids out to the park for the morning, because my wife “couldn’t even” today. When we got home, she had demolished two bottles of wine, and was masturbating to a home improvement show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 984

You deserved it 312

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Today, a guy on the train was using his phone really loudly, asking Siri to call a bunch of people, or using voice command to do the most menial things. He was really, really noisy. It's only after I couldn't stand it any more and asked him to be quieter that I noticed the white cane next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 1 855

Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 093

You deserved it 27 617

Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 436

You deserved it 4 148

Today, I got a spray tan for homecoming. While I was dancing, I got really sweaty and the spray tan rubbed off on the guy's white tux. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 845

You deserved it 51 107

Today, I am going to take a law school test. My Mom told me to relax, so I told her, "I'm better at stressing out, so I have something to fall back on if I bomb the test." To which she replied, "And masturbating, you've always excelled at that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 377

You deserved it 5 339

Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 518

You deserved it 3 368

Same thing different taste

Thanks mom

You what?

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