Love: Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about...

By ouch - 09/12/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 057

You deserved it 76 287

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/11/2010 19:09

Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 275

You deserved it 56 418

By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 18:09 - United States - Victorville

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 142

You deserved it 44 611

By justinherass - 28/03/2009 05:43 - Canada

Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend, she was grabbing the fat on my stomach. I said to her, "Quit touching my fat!" She replied, "So don't touch you at all?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 882

You deserved it 24 983

Jonah begs to differ

By JOTA - 07/10/2020 04:02 - New Zealand

Today, my girlfriend told me she was worried about being eaten by a whale while out kayaking on our holiday tour. I told her that she was way larger than whale food, and that it wouldn’t be interested in her. Now she is accusing me of trying to tell her "nicely" that she's fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 193

You deserved it 359

Healthy relationship

By scared - 24/06/2020 23:02

Today, I yelled at my girlfriend for something trivial. Instead of yelling back, she was scarily calm and said, "Remember, I’ve got 50 lbs on you. Yell at me again and I’ll lay a pillow on your face and sit on it until you’re dead." I think she might mean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 2 556

By anonymous - 27/02/2012 23:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I had my girlfriend over at my parents for dinner. When we were done, my dad went around to collect all the dirty plates and stacked them on his arm. When he got to my girlfriend, the weight became too much and he and the plates fell on top of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 744

You deserved it 2 980

By June - 05/10/2010 04:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 854

You deserved it 8 808

Trick question

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 21:57 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 592

You deserved it 33 647

Pound for pound

By Anonymous - 27/04/2021 14:01

Today, my girlfriend had a huge fight with me because while I'm trying to gain weight and she’s trying to lose some, I’ve still lost more weight than her. Not my fault my body’s natural preference is to drop pounds like they’re hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 121

By Anonymous - 10/07/2019 06:15

Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 582

You deserved it 249

awesome_o 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 20:16

YDI for calling them dingleberries

Telionis 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 20:18

I thought dingleberries were the result of poor wiping post bowl movement?

Comments

time_consumer 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 21:05

LOL at dingleberries. I assume you mean your balls, not the poop stuck in your ass hairs. Either way, YDI.

mika220 1

Wednesday 9 December 2009 22:38

If she had said "my boyfriend insulted me, i threw a lamp at his balls, and then he broke up with me, FML" she would also have gotten a bunch of YDIs, but fact is, he probably knew his girlfriend was a bit crazy and said it anyways. tread carefully around the crazies, or YDI..

CHEESYBIGMAC 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 21:07

YDI for calling your nuts dingleberries...

Skullcrusher 5

Wednesday 9 December 2009 21:08

Dingleberries are turds.

warrenpeace 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 21:10

She threw the lamp at your pieces of shit hanging from your butt hairs? Dude, are you 12?

flyintonite 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 21:16

I read this as threw her dingleberries at you which woulda been ******* hilarious imo, but I think you met balls. At any rate, what have we learned today?

a192837465 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 21:19

lol that's what I was thinking, who throws a lamp at your butt. hey maybe it can be the new foreplay!!

perdix 29

Wednesday 9 December 2009 21:24

"Dingle Bells, Dingle Bells, dingle all the way! (Everybody!). . . " The OP did the right thing. The stupid bitch was asking for his permission to become a fat pig before his very eyes! She knows she has a problem, and she should get off her expanding ass and do something about it. She was hoping that he was OK with her lack of discipline (and her taking him for granted) and would continue to **** her big, gelatinous haunches!

Squander 3

Wednesday 9 December 2009 21:27

I understood that he meant testicles, even though that's not a word we generally use in reference to those. Anyway the girl shouldn't go full-out assault on him for any reason, but nobody likes being called fat. So FYLYDI tossup.

RMC000 7

Wednesday 9 December 2009 21:38

You totally deserved it for making such a comment. Rule #1 is never make negative comments referencing a woman's weight, especially when she's rambling about it out of anger.