Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at... - FML

By FavreFan99 - 01/01/2010 17:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't last until midnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 524

You deserved it 23 607

May weddings: Love and blunders
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/01/2013 07:50 - Australia - Sydney

Today, during the countdown to midnight, I looked for my girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was "only a friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 960

You deserved it 3 599

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 1 762

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Spicy

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 826

You deserved it 6 331

By Anonymous - 01/01/2011 05:19 - United States

Today, I was about to kiss my girlfriend right as the clock struck midnight for New Year's. She put her hand in front of my mouth, and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 232

You deserved it 3 696

Not now

By nexus - 25/09/2021 09:59 - Papua New Guinea

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend gets horny at the most inconvenient times. She woke me up to have sex at 2 a.m. I have work at 6 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 563

By Deweyboy - 10/10/2015 04:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 392

You deserved it 5 108

Bored

By Taylor parsons - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 422

You deserved it 7 538

Narcolepsy

By Isuckreallybad - 06/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 389

I'm gonna come

By Anonymous - 27/09/2021 20:00

Spicy

Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 103

You deserved it 335

By Proposal Fail - 01/01/2015 05:47 - United States - Holbrook

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 619

You deserved it 3 749

Next

Top comments

Bussed 0

Friday 1 January 2010 23:08

There are still options at that point...

ironwords 8

Sunday 27 March 2011 1:05

??? are you the product of incest?

Comments

erizzz 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 1:27

haha loser

eoghanface 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 1:43

HAHA!

jamjenni2774 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 1:50

 yikes what a way to ring in the new year

mdo87 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 2:05

when u popped did u say "HAPPY NEW YEARS!!" and fall right to sleep? lol

Foxracingluver 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 2:22

wow wat a "fun" way to end the year

jgrimaldi 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 2:51

I think it's more of a FHerLife, than an FYours...

kirakira333 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 3:11

aw... poor her :( oh well... there's always next year :D you still got to have sex on new years eve right? so it's all good ;)

Atheistguy 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 3:45

hella funny

DBkkk 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 3:57

Enzyte or Viagra my nigga

perdix 29

Saturday 2 January 2010 4:36

What a coincidence! We also started at 11:53 and I had a hard time making it all the way to midnight, but I did it. But, then again, we started at 11:53 AM! ;)

a124 4

Saturday 11 December 2010 1:47

perdix wins yet again.

captainbj2 0

Saturday 27 August 2011 3:52

Think there's some Perdix worshipping going on here...careful or u might not last either...

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The Top

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 181

You deserved it 7 310

Today, my parents used to tell that me life gets way better after high school. Yeah, for everyone else at my school. They’re partying it up in college or travelling during gap years, meeting all sorts of people. I have to work more than full time because my parents kicked me out the week after I graduated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 95

The Top

Today, I found out the high school I have been doing at home for the past 3 years isn't accredited and doesn't count for anything. I'm 18 and starting high school as a freshman next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 472

You deserved it 19 623

Today, and for the last few weeks, I'd let the nagging feeling that my boyfriend was up to something go. It's also the day I found his messages to other girls on Xbox Live of all things. On a profile that we both share. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 119

Today, I got hired and now I have to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 1 586

Today, I tried to make a grilled cheese sandwich for myself, but as soon as I started, my mom rushed into the kitchen and criticized me for making it "wrong". She then made the sandwich for me. It tasted significantly worse than when I make them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 749

You deserved it 177

Today, my best friend got engaged to the guy she's been seeing for five years. He also happens to be the man I've been in love with for eight. As she was giving me the details, she nonchalantly gave me her reason for accepting the proposal: "Why the hell not, there's always divorce." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 397

You deserved it 4 519

Today, while walking to my car through the snow, I noticed the sunroof was open and 2 feet of snow had poured in. Angry, I opened the door to start cleaning. That's when I noticed all the wildlife that had taken refuge inside from the cold. Not only were my seat cushions wet, they were torn open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 884

You deserved it 26 319