Love: Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday.... - FML

By assante2010 - 24/07/2011 00:09 - United States

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 349

You deserved it 6 882

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Same thing different taste

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 16:52 - United States

Today, it's my birthday and my friends and I went to our favorite pub to celebrate. As I'm a little broke at the moment, they all offered to buy me birthday drinks. Which I later learned meant that they would order them for me and bring them to the table, but put everything on my tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 537

You deserved it 2 916

By BMTH2296 - 21/03/2014 23:42 - United States

Today, I realized how sad my life is when for my 18th birthday, I went to a strip club, by myself, in GTA V. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 397

You deserved it 8 418

By bluntedone - 03/02/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 034

You deserved it 52 141

Quite the gamble

By Anonymous - 25/03/2011 19:25 - United States

Today, to celebrate my older sister's 21st birthday, my parents forced me to take the night off work so we could all go to the casino. Not only is this coming out of my vacation, I wasn't old enough to enter the casino, so I had to sit in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 824

You deserved it 4 435

By obese_chicken - 06/11/2009 06:59 - Australia

Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 053

You deserved it 8 323

By abc - 27/05/2009 10:15 - Pakistan

Today, I took my friends out to an expensive restaurant for my birthday treat. They had arranged for a surprise birthday cake for me which I cut, very happily, while they chanted birthday wishes. When the bill came, I discovered I was supposed to pay for my great 'surprise' cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 413

You deserved it 5 360

By happy bday - 17/09/2010 04:02 - Canada

Today, is my 21st birthday. My friends took me to a bar to celebrate, knowing I don't drink. I am now in charge of driving my friends home after they had an awesome night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 993

You deserved it 9 388

How can I make this about me?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 18:01

Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 163

By azmom - 27/03/2012 17:51 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 314

You deserved it 26 211

By Anonymous - 14/04/2012 04:57 - United States - Paducah

Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 022

You deserved it 4 324

Next

Top comments

BIEBERSLAYER 10

Sunday 24 July 2011 9:22

please tell me you didn't get a lap dance from her.

HahaYDI 0

Sunday 24 July 2011 9:24

Did you get some sort of family discount?

Comments

Shadow_Phantom 26

Sunday 24 July 2011 9:56

I laughed so hard I startled the dog.

demetrius19 7

Sunday 24 July 2011 9:57

damn

sexybabe13 0

Monday 25 July 2011 5:44

hey message me I'm les too

mmmmmm10101 1

Sunday 24 July 2011 9:57

I think that more women should start saving up for cars.

eaarreola 3

Sunday 24 July 2011 9:59

seems your sister has a lot of sexy friends to introduce to you

spanky789600 3

Sunday 24 July 2011 10:02

Did u get a family discount on a lap dance?

NuckinFutz 4

Sunday 24 July 2011 10:40

it was funny the first few times people said it. now it's just getting annoying so stfu

unknown4444 0

Sunday 24 July 2011 10:05

that's sucks!

DinoJess 0

Sunday 24 July 2011 10:06

how are your family dinners now?

walleneve 2

Sunday 24 July 2011 10:06

well the good thing out of it is that you will havr lots of guy friends giving you props on your sister lol

imbored666 5

Sunday 24 July 2011 10:09

hey be proud you sister is apparently hot enough to be a stripper

a_nutritionist 10

Sunday 24 July 2011 12:32

so she has ****, an ass, a face and not overweight? yessir, that is quite impressive.

Hockeyboy4280 18

Sunday 24 July 2011 20:31

And se can pole dance! It looks really hard... :/

THobsession4 18

Monday 25 July 2011 1:26

I've been pole dancing since I was in elementary school (well, without realizing that's what I was basically doing)... I'ts actually a lot of fun, though there's no way I'm gonna try to hang upside-down. I find pole dancing quite easy actually.

masqueradeball12 6

Sunday 24 July 2011 10:12

Oh, gosh. That's a sight you won't unsee.

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Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Relatable Birthday Abuse Money Scams Social Media Education School Kids Parents Health Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Transportation Cops Family Fight Customers Gross Work

The Top

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 625

You deserved it 34 713

Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, I was holding a yard sale. A man came up to me and asked if he could buy a pair of red and white sneakers that I'd found in my attic and had never worn. Five bucks later, he was walking away with what I now realize was the pair of shoes signed by Michael Jordan given to me by my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 063

You deserved it 78 661

Today, my wife's boyfriend learned that you can't flush condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 126

You deserved it 3 583

Today, due to a new tattoo, I can't wear a bra for the next few days. My coworker knows about it and thought it would be funny to blast the air-con all day. I swear I could have used my nipples to type this, instead of my fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 059

You deserved it 2 685

Today, my parents were out and about, leaving me alone in the house. They said they would leave some lunch for me. I couldn't find it. After telling them when they got home, my mom got huffy and showed me that it was in a place I would have never thought to look. She then got even more mad when I was annoyed by this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 447

Today, my mom chewed me out, because my brother has been complaining to her that I don't talk to him anymore since moving out. We've never talked much, even when we were sharing a place! FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 93

Today, in order to avoid seeing my ex-girlfriend in class, I changed my schedule for "personal reasons." Apparently she had the same idea and changed her schedule as well. We now have all the same classes together. Before, we had just two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 374

You deserved it 9 779