Kids: Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw...

By espylone - 17/12/2011 15:42 - France

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 129

You deserved it 6 494

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Same thing different taste

Toilet training

By Anonymous - 22/04/2012 17:12 - United States - Houston

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 347

You deserved it 2 771

By laurwitharawr - 06/10/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 429

You deserved it 4 435

Oh, hai Mark!

By lyle - 02/04/2021 08:00

Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 175

By lk07 - 03/11/2018 05:00

Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 743

You deserved it 328

By mom - 26/01/2014 04:29 - United States - Spring

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 931

You deserved it 10 131

By sleepy - 23/05/2011 04:57 - United States

Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 878

You deserved it 8 362

Amplified

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 572

You deserved it 4 369

By rkl2010 - 23/05/2010 18:02 - United States

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 462

You deserved it 3 456

By LoveYouTooMa - 20/06/2010 04:11 - United States

Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 924

You deserved it 32 589

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 08:03 - United States

Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 855

You deserved it 3 418

PoshLife_Cross 5

Saturday 17 December 2011 19:07

That's cute.

xlittlemiss 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 19:07

LOL. Well you can't blame her. She's only 5.

Comments

iDaniel525 8

Saturday 17 December 2011 20:37

This is both disgusting and adorable.

bubo_fml 10

Saturday 17 December 2011 20:45

Do you prefer the other way 'round?!

MissAmz 7

Saturday 28 July 2012 7:38

Gay.

MissAmz 7

Saturday 28 July 2012 7:38

Gay.

jocyyjayy 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 20:47

Myy 8 year old brother did that . -_-

DocBastard 38

Saturday 17 December 2011 20:49

I think every parent since the invention of the toilet has gone through exactly this scenario. Hope the little tyke feels better.

tabarnak_fml 7

Sunday 18 December 2011 15:59

I saw your blog because of your profile. Some people are as stupid as shit. Sweet stories man (:

KiddNYC1O 20

Saturday 17 December 2011 21:04

Funny you mentioned that. Yesterday, my sister's 3 year old godson wanted to pee badly while I was on the toilet with massive diarrhea. "I have to pipiiii". Wait your turn KJ!

KiddNYC1O 20

Saturday 17 December 2011 23:58

You're right. It's NOT a story. I never said it was. Neither was I trying to be funny, it actually happened. You have a problem? PM me next time, jerk.

Takainthemachine 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 21:18

That's too cute for you to get mad...you probably didn't potty train hey for vomiting.

Ariana2_fml 2

Saturday 17 December 2011 21:36

Haha I did the same thing when I was young

desireev 17

Saturday 17 December 2011 21:37

Vomiting is kind of an immediate thing. Mommy didn't have time to go grab her hand and calmly walk daughter to the bathroom and show her how to do it. When it comes to vomiting, the first thing you're gonna do is yell out "GO TO THE BATHROOM!".. So don't question her parenting. She did the right thing.