By grizzlybear - 27/06/2011 05:55 - Mexico

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
I agree, your life sucks 53 143
You deserved it 6 987

Same thing different taste

Top comments

chickunkey 0

Your boyfriend wants to have a sword fight.

Comments

how does she deserve it? if her boyfriend wanted a penis he should have found a guy.

it doesn't say a penis. it just says penis. I read it like she needs to get laid more and then they would have a better relationship.

emdee_7 0

lol people, people. this comment OBVIOUSLY has a joking tone. obviously a real woman can't have a penis. duh.

rogerusmc23 0

did he say "no ****" shortly before or after his statement?

I thought "no ****" originated on the adult swim show The Boondocks.

My favorite song line: Big dicks in you ass is bad for your health.

sourgirl101 28

22, I read it that way too. It's if she "had penis", meaning if she was to have sex. Either way, it's rude of him. What a prick!

Hey guys... It says OP is male. That's probably why he said penis and not ******.

sourgirl101 28

96, I don't know if you can differ between the male and female astrological signs, but that one, especially since it's pink, is the female's.

30 - a 'real woman' can't have a penis? ******* hell, trans* erasure.

fthislyfe 22

tell him not to worry, and you'll **** him with a *****

j8steele 0

today, you realized your boyfriend is gay

laurieloulou 0

no, that sign means female.

I think he means that he hates her now and if she was a guy they could talk more easily or something

Just do what Phil did in the Hangover 2.

gene818 13

Yeah, I think a strap-on is the best solution for this case.

blondebrunette11 4

maybe its his way of coming out of the closet...

dammit 3 that was my idea. :( OP before you get a strap on be sure to ask your boyfriend what his size preference is!

enonymous 8

You don't have to be gay or bi to enjoy the occasional penis in the ass... but it does help

95. I am still open to your idea of obtaining a fallice

Beebow_fml 5

Many men enjoy pegging, or anal stimulation, during heterosexual intercourse. The prostate is just as, maybe more, sensitive as the head of the penis.

chickunkey 0

Your boyfriend wants to have a sword fight.

EffinToofer 3
sourgirl101 28
BigHoshJosh 0

My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!

The technical term is penis fencing. I'm serious...

Maybe some clarification is needed... Did he mean that he's gay/bi, or was he joking, or does he want you to get into kinkier stuff in bed? Or what?

WallyTheWombat 0

I think it's more of a "you women are IMPOSSIBLE to figure out and are made of all sorts of crazy" thing. I dated a girl who smashed my windshield out of anger because I didn't get her anything for out __NO JOKE__ 1 year 3 month anniversary. Do couples even celebrate that? it's such an odd reason to celebrate.

lol 64 at first I just read 3 months so I was thinking good thing it hasn't been long so you can get out of the relationship but then I realized it was 1 year and 3 months..so who knows what all else you've had to deal with from her :/

WallyTheWombat 0

Yea I wasn't joking, for some reason I seem to get involved with girls who came back for thirds when they were dishing out crazy.

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Fail. It's funny cause you have "head" in your na- I'm gonna stop now...

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You too both need a new boyfriend.

looks like someone needs a new English teacher

looks like my English teacher needs a new boyfriend. or just a boyfriend in general.

How can this not mean that he is gay (or bi)?

Because it could be his way of implying that he wishes she had more of the characteristics that men typically have. Doesn't have to be taken literally.

Then you would say "if you were a guy" or something. The joke or implication would be exactly what you suggest - I wish you had a guy-like personality. If you refer to a penis specifically then you are surely implying something sexual. He is asking for a guy's body, not a guy's personality.

or he wishes she knew his penis as well as he knows it. if the case, terrible wording!

You should definitely get one then. He's gay what a stupid thing to say.