Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things...

By Eskyew - 23/07/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things got a little heated. We were in the middle of some kinky dialog, complete with hand action when he suddenly goes silent. While waiting for a response, I heard typing on the other end. He was checking his email. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 744

You deserved it 9 007

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Same thing different taste

By Jamie - 10/03/2010 20:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped responding. Five minutes later and ready to hang up, he apologized because he got distracted with his game of Tetris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 898

You deserved it 3 993

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 730

You deserved it 15 160

Quickie

By Anonymous - 11/02/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when my boyfriend came over he was on his phone. We spent about 15 minutes together before having sex, then he made a phone call and said he had to leave. I could hear him from my window apologising to his coworker because he “just had to do something real quick but was now free to talk again.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 135

By hunnydoll - 18/08/2009 00:16 - United States

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 416

You deserved it 81 619

By forever alone - 19/06/2014 22:26 - United States - Pawling

Today, I was video chatting my boyfriend. As we were talking, he answered a phone call. I sat there the whole time as he planned a date with some other girl over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 028

You deserved it 7 452

By Bucko321 - 30/03/2009 01:18 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the phone to make a call and had heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 707

You deserved it 78 242

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 964

You deserved it 7 868

Play along

By Anonymous - 15/09/2009 04:44 - United States

Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turned sexual. He stopped responding but I continued with the conversation. Then I got a response, "This is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 947

You deserved it 8 071

Bad timing

By i'm not psychic, mother fucker - 02/06/2013 20:48 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 644

You deserved it 6 625

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 335

You deserved it 28 314

thelastgirl 0

Friday 24 July 2009 0:51

What? New mail in your inbox doesn't turn you on??

Imawhalerider 0

Friday 24 July 2009 0:52

just listen to how fast his fingers move. yeahhhh

Comments

pwnage79 0

Friday 24 July 2009 2:03

i fail to see the fml here

Deathnote123 0

Friday 24 July 2009 2:13

damn thats harsh and that must have sucked

OwnageAxe 0

Friday 24 July 2009 5:35

How does it suck? He's just checking his email. She gonna sue him for checking his email?

cutebebe778 0

Friday 24 July 2009 2:14

*Dialogue How is this an FML?

sublime93 0

Friday 24 July 2009 2:14

wtf? how in the **** is this an fml? man this site sucks ass now

noshitsherlock 0

Friday 24 July 2009 2:21

or checking ****.

crazy_cat_lady 0

Friday 24 July 2009 8:19

Exactly what I was gonna say. Hello.. he was watching ****.....

icertainlysuck 0

Friday 24 July 2009 2:22

This FML sucks

SS240 0

Friday 24 July 2009 2:36

Why the **** would anyone still have phone sex, god that's boring.

darkmis1 17

Friday 24 July 2009 2:42

why werent you over his place so you could do the real thing? hmmmmmm?

marz88 0

Friday 24 July 2009 2:48

Excuse me while I die of boredom from reading this FML

butteredbuns 0

Friday 24 July 2009 2:50

Your bf is a buzz kill

Keywords

Health Relatable Public freakouts Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Cops Transportation Fight Family Kids Mother in law Miscellaneous AITA Relationship advice Social Media Love Art Work Students Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication

The Top

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 167

Today, despite the fact that I'm happy and in love, my spiteful brat of a 12 year-old keeps spreading hateful and disgusting lies about my boyfriend doing unspeakable things while I'm away on business. Her dad told me he's reporting my boyfriend to the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 562

The Top

Today, it was my first day back at school. My social anxiety is so bad that I couldn't even raise my hand to use the bathroom because I didn't want people to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 996

You deserved it 4 616

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 653

You deserved it 3 490

Today, I returned to work after taking two days off to find I'd been fired. Why? For not being at work on those two days. Everything was agreed in writing, all trace of which has mysteriously vanished. I can't work until HR sorts it out, and nobody can tell me how long that'll take. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 325

You deserved it 1 499

Today, I found out that I'm sensitive to the NuvaRing. It felt like I was a buffet for fire ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 736

You deserved it 166

Today, it's been two weeks since my wife started her new job. She got overwhelmed and fell off the wagon on Monday. Instead of going to work, she spent the last week passed out drunk, and she'll probably get fired. We really needed that 100k a year she was going to make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 137

Today, I walked into my barbershop and told the owner to, “Give me the Jamie Lannister” (from Game of Thrones). The barbershop was silent, except for one loud laugh. Coming from my ex. She'd followed me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 559