Miscellaneous: Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As...

By shootme - 13/11/2011 22:46 - Canada

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 342

You deserved it 58 528

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 622

You deserved it 3 716

By beccabooyah - 20/11/2011 00:52 - United States

Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my newsfeed, I noticed a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to properly shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 740

You deserved it 38 687

By Anonymous - 27/08/2011 23:07 - Canada

Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 499

You deserved it 5 621

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 633

You deserved it 9 112

By WhyTheFNot - 20/06/2009 18:06 - United States

Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 460

You deserved it 9 313

Check your feeds!

By Captain Oops-a-Lot - 03/11/2023 00:02

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I mistakenly took a screenshot and then proceeded to fumble my phone. It wasn't until 5 hours later when I recharged it that I realized I had unintentionally posted the screenshot of me on the toilet to Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 551

Shared towel

By shitface - 06/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 053

You deserved it 1 231

By 2gewd4u - 15/01/2012 01:24 - United States

Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 235

You deserved it 4 079

Autopilot

By TuteBananaCupcake - 29/12/2023 14:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 543

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 635

ReesesPuffs 0

Monday 14 November 2011 1:10

*waits for somebody to say that's a shitty situation*

flockz 19

Monday 14 November 2011 1:11

sorry but they probably don't have an app for cleaning shit stains off your phone.

Comments

germasian96 7

Monday 14 November 2011 1:35

wouldnt you notice that your clothes didn't smell good?

Torva_fml 16

Monday 14 November 2011 1:42

Clothes and phone... I don't see the correlation.

VorpikeII 17

Monday 14 November 2011 2:53

Butt, there IS an app for that. It just requires the use of lots of extra soap!

kris8519 0

Monday 14 November 2011 1:37

gross

germasian96 7

Monday 14 November 2011 1:37

oops, my phone glitched. sorry :(

OfficeNinja 5

Monday 14 November 2011 1:38

Yet another cool app for the iPhone! It really can do everything!

plehning77 0

Monday 14 November 2011 9:04

Ahahahahahahahahah

notsoluckypup 12

Monday 14 November 2011 1:39

I guess you can now say you have a crappy phone.

pyrt93 4

Monday 14 November 2011 1:46

so this happens every day?

AlaskaKid95 7

Monday 14 November 2011 1:48

-Cleveland voice- Oh that's just nasty.

rattusrattus 18

Monday 14 November 2011 1:50

I feel sorry for the person on the other end of the line... first they have to listen to pooping, then they get up close and personal hearing the sound of wiping. F their life.

plehning77 0

Monday 14 November 2011 9:07

Haha so true.

Igor_g5 0

Monday 14 November 2011 1:53

You don't know the difference between a phone? Idiot.

Sniper3000 0

Monday 14 November 2011 17:26

It is you that is the idiot because "you don't know the difference between a phone" makes no sense

13FMYLIFE 0

Monday 14 November 2011 1:54

iTissue- the new app that turns into toilet paper so you can wipe your ass but not waste money on toilet paper or the energy it takes to reach for it!...