Miscellaneous: Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar...

By Anonymous - 02/01/2015 22:46 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 156

You deserved it 2 572

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Same thing different taste

Get the message

By Smelly - 05/04/2022 16:00

Today, it’s my birthday. At work, at my desk, I found this beautiful gift-wrapped box and a card that read, “From all of us, we really care about you, and hope you like your present!” I opened the box. It had body shower gel, deodorant, soap, fragrance spray, and “frizz shampoo.” Hint taken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 426

By Chakkamofo - 01/02/2009 22:47 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card saying "You made it to 36!". It's my 35th birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 001

You deserved it 2 453

It's the thought that counts

By Not a day over 35 - 18/06/2013 13:06 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 673

You deserved it 5 829

Lower your expectations

By Brilliant... - 25/05/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year-olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 580

You deserved it 5 308

By Anonymous - 15/05/2009 22:38 - United States

Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 334

You deserved it 18 072

By Anonymous - 19/11/2015 14:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 645

You deserved it 2 026

It's all downhill from here

By Brenna - 17/11/2021 10:59

Today, I woke up realizing my 40th birthday is on Sunday and I’ll only have about 40 more years to live after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 253

By fatty - 17/11/2014 21:05 - United States - Gloucester

Today, my parents gave me fat burner pills for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 937

You deserved it 5 738

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 16:00 - United Kingdom - Thornbury

Today, the only "Happy birthday!" I got was from the cake I bought for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 875

You deserved it 152

By SadOldBag - 23/08/2018 21:30 - United States - Estero

Today, I received the gifts of my period, diarrhea, severe dizziness and double vision, and an ant infestation in my home. These were followed by the glaring absence of any gifts from my husband. Happy 40th to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 207

You deserved it 231

XBurytheCastleX 25

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:28

I'm sorry, I slipped and hit YDI. Everything is now ruined. FYL

xlord 27

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:28

Wow that's crazy!!! I wonder what you get when you turn 50 ?

Comments

xlord 27

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:28

Wow that's crazy!!! I wonder what you get when you turn 50 ?

wildgenius 13

Sunday 4 January 2015 1:54

No sir, it would be a trial oxygen tank

Pauline96_fml 20

Friday 9 January 2015 3:46

Or a coffin

patrickeli 15

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:28

Gosh, that sucks. 40 isn't old, OP. Those people are just money-hungry.

desoxyn242 14

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:55

40 is the new 30

Just_A_Tree 20

Saturday 3 January 2015 6:05

70 is the new 20. *hands grandma a parachute*

XBurytheCastleX 25

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:28

I'm sorry, I slipped and hit YDI. Everything is now ruined. FYL

sorryheadphones 26

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:29

I guess 40 is the new 60

lexi365 20

Saturday 3 January 2015 7:09

As a 20 year old, that scares me.

flufee2 27

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:31

Happy Birthday!

Murilirum 23

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:31

I see an excellent opportunity for re-gifting.

emmatheamazingx 17

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:35

Life seems to go by quick but it's just an illusion

devildog562 33

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:36

Happy birthday , FML style . Hopefully you can at least have a fun night out .

everlastingsnow_fml 14

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:37

40 is the new 20! Happy birthday!

Epickitty58 29

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:41

If you didn't get anything from your family then you're related to assholes.

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Today, I met my boyfriend in Hong Kong after being apart for almost 6 months. We got to our room and got right down to business. I was just about to come when a voice came over the PA system in the room. "This is just a fire alarm test, sorry for any inconvenience." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 128

You deserved it 5 932

Today, I was prepping for an interview after several months of unemployment. I had just finished brushing my teeth when I reached back and grabbed a towel behind me to wipe my face. Turns out it wasn't a towel, it was my newly dry-cleaned suit jacket that my wife had put there for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 831

You deserved it 10 516

The Top

Today, during a storm-related power failure, I jerry-rigged an inverter from my car to supply the essentials. In doing so, I managed to blow up the fridge, smoke and all. The power came back on 5 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 885

Today, at my wedding, my grandmother special requested a wheelchair, even though she doesn’t and never has needed any kind of assistance walking or standing at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 167

You deserved it 190

Today, at work, I was helping someone who really sounded like she had a Boston accent. So, I asked her where she was from. She has never been out of state. Turns out she has a speech impediment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 964

You deserved it 1 784

Today, I have a friend who has consumed almost every known drug in our country, but refuses to get the Covid vaccine, claiming that, "it contains the 5G, and I won't let them control me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 151

Today, I send a text message to my ex-boyfriend, who dumped me four months ago, telling him to come back. His answer: "feeling-wise I won't come back to you, but sexually, why not". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 016

You deserved it 28 283

Today, I showed my grandma my new septum piercing. Her only response was, "I hope it gets infected and your nose falls off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 010

You deserved it 4 789

Same thing different taste

Get the message

It's the thought that counts

Lower your expectations

It's all downhill from here

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