Miscellaneous: Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar... - FML

By Anonymous - 02/01/2015 22:46 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 156

You deserved it 2 572

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Same thing different taste

Get the message

By Smelly - 05/04/2022 16:00

Today, it’s my birthday. At work, at my desk, I found this beautiful gift-wrapped box and a card that read, “From all of us, we really care about you, and hope you like your present!” I opened the box. It had body shower gel, deodorant, soap, fragrance spray, and “frizz shampoo.” Hint taken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 427

By Chakkamofo - 01/02/2009 22:47 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card saying "You made it to 36!". It's my 35th birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 002

You deserved it 2 453

It's the thought that counts

By Not a day over 35 - 18/06/2013 13:06 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 676

You deserved it 5 829

Lower your expectations

By Brilliant... - 25/05/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year-olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 580

You deserved it 5 308

By Anonymous - 15/05/2009 22:38 - United States

Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 335

You deserved it 18 072

By Anonymous - 19/11/2015 14:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 645

You deserved it 2 026

It's all downhill from here

By Brenna - 17/11/2021 10:59

Today, I woke up realizing my 40th birthday is on Sunday and I’ll only have about 40 more years to live after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 253

By fatty - 17/11/2014 21:05 - United States - Gloucester

Today, my parents gave me fat burner pills for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 937

You deserved it 5 738

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 16:00 - United Kingdom - Thornbury

Today, the only "Happy birthday!" I got was from the cake I bought for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 876

You deserved it 152

By SadOldBag - 23/08/2018 21:30 - United States - Estero

Today, I received the gifts of my period, diarrhea, severe dizziness and double vision, and an ant infestation in my home. These were followed by the glaring absence of any gifts from my husband. Happy 40th to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 208

You deserved it 231

Next

Top comments

XBurytheCastleX 25

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:28

I'm sorry, I slipped and hit YDI. Everything is now ruined. FYL

xlord 27

Saturday 3 January 2015 5:28

Wow that's crazy!!! I wonder what you get when you turn 50 ?

Comments

wallmaria 15

Saturday 3 January 2015 6:41

really wow 40 isn't even very old you haven't even lived half your life yet i'm only 16 and i still know that lol dumb funeral paper senders

sourgirl101 28

Saturday 3 January 2015 7:00

Jennifer Anniston is in her 40's and the spokes person for skin care. Why get insulted? It's free to try! There are lots of women that age ex: Kate Beckinsale, Naomi Watts, Rebecca Romijn to name a few. The earlier you start taking care of your skin, even in your 20/30's the better and younger you can look when you get older.

Wolfparable 22

Saturday 3 January 2015 7:16

Well damn that's a rough insult Happy birthday though and 40 isn't that old

imjanty 10

Saturday 3 January 2015 7:22

40 is not that old

pastel_fml 18

Saturday 3 January 2015 7:27

Take matters into your own hands, go out to a bar with friends or golfing. Happy birthday!

kirbs19 37

Saturday 3 January 2015 7:27

That's it?!?!

xluciferx666 21

Saturday 3 January 2015 7:27

At least you can be wrinkle free and have a coffin picked out when you die...positive things man positive things

katertott 44

Saturday 3 January 2015 7:31

Not the best presents, but better than nothing, I suppose. Anyway, happy birthday!

Parvati48 15

Saturday 3 January 2015 7:38

LOL! XD I'm sorry OP that sucks but it's hilarious.

jigglypuff34 16

Saturday 3 January 2015 7:42

Sounds like a fun afternoon! Keep your head up life can turn quickly.

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The Top

Today, I got home from working at KFC and hopped straight into the shower. I could see that the water was being tinged yellow by the grease that had got plastered on me at work and was now coming off, so I started gagging and almost threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 790

You deserved it 204

Today, I wanted to take a nap after cleaning my apartment, so I put the trash outside the front door and put a note on the door for my roommate, saying, "Please take the trash out when you leave for work." When I woke up, the note was gone but the trash was still there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 373

You deserved it 1 987

The Top

Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 998

You deserved it 6 132

Today, I tried to teach my dog tricks. Somehow, I thought it would be easier if I physically showed my dog how to roll, so I rolled on the floor in front of my dog. My sister recorded me and posted it on Facebook. Now everyone thinks I'm an idiot and my dog still can't roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 549

You deserved it 24 094

Today, my mom was on the phone when she decided to blurt out that she got me probiotics for my stomach issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 152

Today, I came home from work to find the front door wide open, the stove on, my 5 year old cutting up the curtain, and my 2 year old smearing chocolate sauce on the floor. My fiancé was nowhere to be found. Later on, I got a text from him saying that he'd gone to watch the footy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 150

You deserved it 4 738

Today, in an effort to avoid having the same break as my annoying coworker, I went a little earlier than I usually do. Guess who got moved to a position with an early break? She sat next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 225

Today, it's raining at my work. Not outside, inside, because our building's boiler broke and all the pipes are dripping with condensation. I have to sit at my desk under an umbrella to protect my laptop and desk phone. The HVAC company said, "Don't worry, this is normal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 292

You deserved it 2 166