Miscellaneous: Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash... - FML

By Anonymous - 15/05/2009 22:38 - United States

Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 333

You deserved it 18 072

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Get the message

By Smelly - 05/04/2022 16:00

Today, it’s my birthday. At work, at my desk, I found this beautiful gift-wrapped box and a card that read, “From all of us, we really care about you, and hope you like your present!” I opened the box. It had body shower gel, deodorant, soap, fragrance spray, and “frizz shampoo.” Hint taken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 426

By eslteacher - 13/05/2009 04:39 - Korea Republic of

Today, while teaching English in Korea, my boss gave me a birthday present from her and all of my co-workers. It was a really fancy box. It had very nice wrapping. It had a pretty bow. It was kind of heavy. It was 6 bottles of dandruff shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 915

You deserved it 8 578

By random123 - 29/11/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 155

You deserved it 7 740

By same - 21/11/2015 06:39 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 790

You deserved it 6 876

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 024

You deserved it 590

Thanks, I guess…

By Gabrielguitar - 25/04/2009 14:23 - United States

Today, it was my birthday and everyone in the office chipped in to buy me a card, and nothing but a card. It had a pre-written message on it and a space to write "Love, *insert name*" where everyone signed their names. The "Love" was crossed out and replaced with "From". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 884

You deserved it 5 311

Unhappy birthday

By Anonymous - 05/11/2019 19:00 - Australia

Today, my cleaner wished me a happy birthday. My family and friends forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 082

You deserved it 202

By Anonymous - 02/01/2015 22:46 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 156

You deserved it 2 572

By Kensie - 04/03/2009 21:48 - United States

Today, it is my twin sisters and my birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me pretty also. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 748

You deserved it 5 979

Oh gosh

By Anonymous - 16/02/2020 14:00

Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 396

You deserved it 680

Next

Top comments

lolwut_fail 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:01

The big bow is a nice touch.

24788 6

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:02

Either it's a gag gift or someone really is sending you a message in a hostile way.

Comments

pelica 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:01

aww!

MissyWissyKach 0

Friday 14 August 2009 16:08

mmm minty

B4SK3TB4IL 0

Monday 6 September 2010 4:57

true

katsteak 0

Thursday 5 May 2011 2:57

damn.

steierr 7

Sunday 12 June 2011 8:46

at least u get presents :( jkjkjk

Slythrr 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 21:09

your breath stinks hint hint

lolwut_fail 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:01

The big bow is a nice touch.

ccftw 0

Thursday 22 April 2010 5:52

I agree haha

24788 6

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:02

Either it's a gag gift or someone really is sending you a message in a hostile way.

Chidge 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:04

Well mate, that's oral hygene.

genesisdeleon 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:04

maybe you should gargle more often? :P

Blanadestroyer 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:05

Wait, you didn't notice the TopDentist gift card we left you too?

hayride1987 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:05

clearly you have bad breath... happy birthday!

elliebutton 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:05

Take a hint? Sorry about that though.

Trix_Disorder 20

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:07

Ouch. But you got free mouthwash!

paxromana 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 10:09

Hint hint? Okay, there isn't a very obvious silver lining to this dark cloud, but perhaps they didn't want to be rude and confrontational? I don't know. I probably would be the office worker to leave secret gifts with subliminal messages, too. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Now you'll have a minty fresh smile.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9

Keywords

Music Cute Love Coworkers TMI Work Gross Racism Customers Scary Kids Technology Geek Gamers Neighbours Miscellaneous Relatable DIY Social Media Ironic Cheating Sex Awkward Insects Animals Health Insurance Plumbing Money Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I realized my success rates for sex in my committed relationship were really, really low, so I've decided to stop trying for a while. I also recently have learned Excel. I made a pretty complex tracker if I ever decide to try again to monitor failures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 169

Today, my 12-year-old sister, who sometimes has difficulty coming up with the right words while speaking, used the word "intercourse" to replace "encounter". She was joking to my dad that she, "had an 'intercourse' with Bob Dylan." I can't get the image out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 936

You deserved it 1 334

The Top

Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I noticed that one of the kids selected for a test looked incredibly high. After he went into the bathroom and gave me his cup with his urine inside, I took a closer look… to see that the little shit had jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 367

You deserved it 2 855

Today, I accidentally belched at the dinner table. At age 22, I got sent to my room with no dessert by my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 396

You deserved it 9 125

Today, it's my 21st birthday. The only person who drank with me was my elementary school principal, who I happened to run into at a bar where we were the only two people there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 942

You deserved it 198

Today, my girlfriend made me shave my chest. Afterwards, she said I looked like I was 12. She won't have sex with me until it grows back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 389

You deserved it 5 141

Today, I bought my kids new mattresses for their new beds. Within 24 hours my son did a cannon ball onto his sister's bed to prove that it wouldn't break. The box spring snapped in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 734

You deserved it 310

Today, I set up a date between my roommate, who I'm in love with, and his crush, who I'm jealous of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 226

You deserved it 988