Does he seriously thinks you're your father's property ? You should get it right with him. Unless you're fine with him treating you like an object.

He does not think I'm anyone's property! That's a traditional and respectful thing to do. Haven't you ever heard of getting the families blessing? He already has it, because he's a wonderful and caring man that makes me happy. Good luck to you... I think you'll need it.

For a woman, "tradition" and "respect" are mutually exclusive.

Thinking someone is property isn't treating them like a slave. Back in the 50's when women belonged in the kitchen, their men were also sweet and caring to them and all. Sexism is in traditional facts like this. I never said your boyfriend doesn't really loves you or something, I'm sure he does. I just hope he understands this is only traditional stuff and that you wouldn't expect your kids to do this, for example. Getting the family's blessing is, you said it, by being a good person to you, not by asking your hand to your father. Once you've got that, you can be traditional if you want to, and it's pretty obvious from what you said that you don't think it's the most important. What disappoints me the most is that you couldn't get the satisfaction of proposing even if you seemed to want to. And thanks for the luck but I don't need it, my boyfriend is already accepted in my family and I won't have to ask his hand to anyone but him, and it won't be a scandal in our families.

#138 : And even sometimes for men too.

I am happy that your partners family loves and accepts you. That's all that really matters, after all. Asking the family brings them closer to you and a part of your relationship. When/if I have a child, I would love to be asked permission for their hand. To offer up words of wisdom and tell them my expections. (Kindness, loyalty, honor and support) To welcome them into my family and share a private bonding moment.

Way to trod all over someones happiness Bob_cat. I respect your defence of equal rights but if someones happy with where they are in life and aware of what they could have, leave them be. You're just so bitter and it's frustrating, like seeing someone preach and scare people. I don't care if I get thumbed down, it has to be said. Kudos to you for respecting both sides in an earlier comment though, I can't stand people who defend only womens rights.

To each his/her own. Just remember a marriage joins two families.

To be fair, my boyfriend also wants to ask my parents but it's not so much that they own me - I think it's just because he wants them to feel included in the decision in our case. I do get your point though bob cat - it shouldn't be anything to do with ownership.

I agree with you #149. I'm sorry if I offended anyone, but as you could see from my other comments I'm just defending equal rights, not women rights, and I'm glad you understood it because only a few people think that way. People usually think you're either feminist or a macho, it's wrong.

Well clearly they do.