Animals: Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was...

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 20:36 - United States

Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was pooped on by a goose, peed on by a puppy, bit in the face by the mother dog, fell through the floor of the barn loft, and without knowing it was electric, rested my hand on the horse fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 591

You deserved it 9 333

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Same thing different taste

By electricpuddle - 25/04/2011 01:11

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 814

You deserved it 4 036

Not so smooth criminal

By Anonymous - 14/08/2013 09:11 - United States - Sanford

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 309

You deserved it 6 847

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 18:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 722

You deserved it 2 731

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 14:48 - Canada

Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 184

You deserved it 6 794

Dr Dolittle

By Anonymous - 06/12/2022 18:00

Today, I went with my family to visit my aunt, who lives on a farm. My brother told me that cows are ticklish and convinced me to go up and tickle one of the cows. The cow clearly wasn’t a fan, and I ended up being chased right into a lake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 1 080

Face it!

By MooCow - 13/07/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 596

You deserved it 15 778

Goodbye horses

By Anonymous - 23/10/2017 16:19

Today, my dad tried to help me overcome my intense fear of horses (due to nearly being killed by one as a child) by taking me to a ranch. Within 30 minutes, a horse bit my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 998

You deserved it 469

Goodbye horses

By Not Again! - 14/06/2019 04:16

Today, while riding a massive draft horse, the horse thought it would be fun to walk under a very low apple tree that sat level with his back. A branch hit me and made me fall off onto a coil of barbed wire, twisting my ankle in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 731

You deserved it 369

By mishyb - 28/07/2013 04:28 - United States - Englewood

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 471

You deserved it 4 340

By shando - 08/11/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 579

You deserved it 3 575

wolfe37 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 1:20

yeah you don't belong on a farm...stick to the city

GuyWithAGuitar 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 1:26

lMFAO. This could be a country song. Now alls that needs to happen is for your spouse to leave you and your dog to die.

Comments

Sevventh 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 21:50

City Slicker!

ilovelucy92 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 2:44

Things like this don't happen to normal people.. Your probably just a total idiot so I have no sympathy. :)

brenbert 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 2:57

I agree... farms suck!

theanonimouse 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 6:48

Okay, so these things happened first. Am I the only one wondering what happened second...?

gpstyne 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 9:07

you'll live STFU

mrsnicks 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 16:22

Stay home city-boy.

signature23 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 19:42

well this sounds real...=/

Zero198209 0

Friday 2 October 2009 4:16

THATS IT???? U WHINEY P#$$y.....U COULD HAVE BEEN RAPED BY A GOAT OR EVEN WORSE....A HORSE....GO FOOK A CHICKEN...LOSER!!!!!

PandaPandaPandaX 0

Sunday 4 October 2009 6:39

Haha I pictured a Loony Tunes cartoon or Three Stooges episode.

Mr_schadenfreude 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 18:05

Wait until they take you along for the traditional "get this city slicker to say hello to lunch" ritual, also known as REVENGE!

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 67

Today, I set aside a weekend to spend time with a friend. I learned that someone else is staying there: a fat, unemployed man-child who talks shit about us on Facebook, while his manipulative wife pays his bills. He got evicted from his last home when he pretended to be a ninja and cut up his neighbor's garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 68

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 12 342

You deserved it 87 178

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I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 79

Today, hidden deep in my husband's closet, I found a shrine dedicated to a woman named Felicity. After further investigation, I saw printouts of my husband's detailed fantasies of phone sex conversations with Felicity. Felicity was his first wife, and has been dead for nine years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 067

You deserved it 262

Today, like every day since my diagnosis, I've had to choose between two impossible options. Either I deal with debilitating headaches where I cannot focus, or I feel so drowsy that I cannot focus. My finals are in a week and I can't study. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 66

Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 410

You deserved it 4 042

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 272

You deserved it 12 474

Same thing different taste

Not so smooth criminal

Dr Dolittle

Face it!

Goodbye horses

Goodbye horses

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