Animals: Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was...

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 20:36 - United States

Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was pooped on by a goose, peed on by a puppy, bit in the face by the mother dog, fell through the floor of the barn loft, and without knowing it was electric, rested my hand on the horse fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 591

You deserved it 9 333

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Same thing different taste

By electricpuddle - 25/04/2011 01:11

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 814

You deserved it 4 036

Not so smooth criminal

By Anonymous - 14/08/2013 09:11 - United States - Sanford

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 309

You deserved it 6 847

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 18:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 722

You deserved it 2 731

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 14:48 - Canada

Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 184

You deserved it 6 794

Dr Dolittle

By Anonymous - 06/12/2022 18:00

Today, I went with my family to visit my aunt, who lives on a farm. My brother told me that cows are ticklish and convinced me to go up and tickle one of the cows. The cow clearly wasn’t a fan, and I ended up being chased right into a lake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 1 080

Face it!

By MooCow - 13/07/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 596

You deserved it 15 778

Goodbye horses

By Anonymous - 23/10/2017 16:19

Today, my dad tried to help me overcome my intense fear of horses (due to nearly being killed by one as a child) by taking me to a ranch. Within 30 minutes, a horse bit my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 998

You deserved it 469

Goodbye horses

By Not Again! - 14/06/2019 04:16

Today, while riding a massive draft horse, the horse thought it would be fun to walk under a very low apple tree that sat level with his back. A branch hit me and made me fall off onto a coil of barbed wire, twisting my ankle in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 731

You deserved it 369

By mishyb - 28/07/2013 04:28 - United States - Englewood

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 471

You deserved it 4 340

By shando - 08/11/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 579

You deserved it 3 575

wolfe37 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 1:20

yeah you don't belong on a farm...stick to the city

GuyWithAGuitar 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 1:26

lMFAO. This could be a country song. Now alls that needs to happen is for your spouse to leave you and your dog to die.

Comments

jmeg_fml 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 7:03

yeah, those fences are a doozy. why do people feel it's necessary to brag about knowing farms "soooo well" or living in the city where it's "soooo better"? geez. enjoy what you enjoy and quit being so douchey

OhLawd 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 7:20

its not better in the city, I love farm/ranch country. City people alot more materialistic and self centered

raineydayes 0

Thursday 30 September 2010 2:31

WAY TO STEREOTYPE!

flyboy57 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 7:25

who the **** are you? that much shit only happens to Steve Urkel.

radman 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 8:58

You've never been on a farm before have you? Keep your hands inside the ride at all times and expect animals EVERYWHERE!

TheKitsune 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 10:17

Hah! City bitch best learn to adapt! XD

dedalus_fml 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 11:22

Q: Why doesn't that cow have any horns? A: Because it's a horse. FYL

demontwig 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 13:26

stupid bitch

kukopia 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 16:05

Now invite your cousin for a visit and take him to the 'bad' part of town. You'll laugh for hours after you ID the body.

BreeKnox 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 18:40

animals must really love you. animals get so excited sometimes that they pee on themselves, so maybe you make them really excited...or they don't. either way, fyl