Love: Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted...

By Anonymous - 12/08/2012 09:23 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 143

You deserved it 2 361

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Same thing different taste

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 679

You deserved it 25 635

By joe - 31/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 708

You deserved it 26 835

By Ryan746 - 09/06/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 681

You deserved it 47 015

By a man - 13/07/2013 13:20 - United States - Houston

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 270

You deserved it 5 387

By Sawarski - 07/01/2013 20:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 655

You deserved it 3 295

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 127

By Anonymous - 31/01/2010 10:16 - United States

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 791

You deserved it 13 809

By Anon - 30/01/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 334

You deserved it 7 439

By Dumped - 22/12/2009 07:57 - United States

Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 092

You deserved it 11 667

By pussyface96 - 19/09/2012 09:27 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 606

You deserved it 44 527

Dracoboxer357 35

Sunday 12 August 2012 16:22

Well, did she kiss them better at least? ;P Double owned, sorry Op. :p

perdix 29

Sunday 12 August 2012 16:32

It was no accident. She probably just read "Fifty Shades of Grey" and decided to jazz things up with that S&M shit.

Comments

vorinclex 4

Thursday 23 August 2012 14:55

It's happened to me too bro :(

Hiawassee 9

Monday 25 March 2013 2:29

I agree this sucks but, just wondering, why did it matter that you guys were alone ??? Lmfao .

The_9th_Doctor 18

Wednesday 28 August 2013 4:31

it seems she's really an assassin and you pissed someone off

kelseysking 26

Saturday 23 August 2014 19:26

I have to tell you I love your name and profile picture. But yeah op that sucks.

MattChristensen 14

Tuesday 31 March 2015 14:08

You were watching a movie alone, while with your girlfriend?

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I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 5

Today, my ex-girlfriend got really mad at me because she said all men treat her like a whore. She even got upset that she thinks that I might think of her the same way. I couldn't help but to laugh in her face, because she cheated on me with said men and the fact is that she's right. I'm sad, but It's done Sweetie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 103

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Today, my boyfriend of 7 years told me he isn’t sure if he wants to marry me, despite us talking for years about it. He’s worried about what will happen to our cats if we were to ever get divorced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 150

Today, ever since he got out of jail, my brother thinks it's hilarious to use the skills other inmates taught him to break into my house, setting up pranks, or watching tv and waiting for me to get home. It's mostly harmless, but it is still majorly pissing me off. Should I call the cops if he continues? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 129

Today, I actually used Febreze as a substitute for deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 610

You deserved it 27 960

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 452

You deserved it 3 139

Today, my friend and I went back to my house after a gym session. After I took my shoes and socks off in the foyer, I told her to wait while I brought some post-workout smoothies. I came back to find her sniffing my socks. She stared back at me for a bit, said, "Uh, catch ya later", and left with my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 84

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 654

You deserved it 2 457

Same thing different taste

Romantic move

Love hurts

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