By happybirthday - 12/08/2012 05:49 - United States - Wrentham

Spicy
Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML
I agree, your life sucks 52 536
You deserved it 3 466
May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

MCRaddict15 15

What a douche. He was more than lucky to have someone as compassionate as you. Oh well, his loss.

422 9
dude1122332 9

I think you have another surprise for him right? Like some papers..

345 1

Comments

MCRaddict15 15

What a douche. He was more than lucky to have someone as compassionate as you. Oh well, his loss.

422 9
AbstraktThoughts 13

Come back with divorce papers. Surprise! :)

95 6
UrCapsLockOn 12

so he got a surprise party and a hooker .. WIN

68 27
pavlovaaLOVE 7

8- I'm pretty sure it will come as no surprise ... The prick deserves it. Fyl op :(

13 17
iRoc46n2 4

Probably not his first time. You may wanna go to the doctor and make sure you don't get another surprise down the road.

85 0
perdix 29

#1, I don't know about compassionate. I feel that surprise parties are creepy. If your friends and family can pull off a vast conspiracy to ambush you for your entertainment, imagine what they could do behind your back for other purposes!

48 14
sonicgreg 12

90 You can't dump a husband, you can divorce him though.

10 2
stephhrunsaway 21

At least all the guests witnessed his horrible attempt at adultery. He won't get any supporters there.

21 1
iHeartRKO 5

That awkward moment when 1's picture scared the shit out of me.

4 13
Dragunov95 1

102- Yes, she can actually dump her husband. For instance she can dump his body into a river, a dumpster, the ocean, etc. The list goes on but by no means is that man not dumpable. (Yes I did just make dumpable a word)

12 0
MDTeddy 13

Cheating is wrong and so is havin a relationship with someone you don't even love or this incident wouldn't happen.

4 4
larouche362 10

Perdix im pretty sure your the best FML commenter ever on FML. thumbs up if you agree?

5 5
Hilda_x 25

#112 I don't think you have much room to talk about someone having a "scary picture"...

0 0
hwkfan1 10

Maybe you could get her to jump out of a cake?

243 22
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11

I find number 2's picture to be 100% satisfactory to this fml.

36 0
iHeartRKO 5

84 I find you're correct about 2's picture as I thought the same.

5 10
your_ma 27

This may be the definition of awkward..

140 5
Ecstasyyy 3

It could've been worse, like if the hooker was actually a man...or was she?

12 38
xKandaxYuux 8

18- Cheating is cheating. Whether it be with a man or woman, it doesn't make it right either way.

34 2
KommanderKush420 5

Imagine what the hooker was thinking...

12 0
Sandman366 6

74: Yes, cheating is cheating, but I'm fairly sure a male hooker would be more awkward. (Though I suppose he could say they're for her, but that would still be more awkward in my opinion.)

4 5
dude1122332 9

I think you have another surprise for him right? Like some papers..

345 1
xMiss_Maggot 7

i wonder if he does this when youre away from your business trips..

Yourheadache 19

You dont say......

91 2
DjeePee 24

Maybe MissMaggot tried to say: 'I wonder if this is the first time he brought a hooker home when you're away'. Anyway, OP should certainly have herself checked on STD's.

60 2
JessieLoren 5

you should give him another surprise.. a divorce!

133 22
zandalee 19

Not the duck face! Nooooooooooo!!!!!!

83 2
deBlobX 12

Why the duck face?!!?? Why?! WHY?! WHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????

15 34
Nymphetamatrix 19

*Clicks rifle and aims* This is gonna be one might good duck stew.

56 4
jarockstar27 10

That wouldnt be much of a surprise at this point....

3 5
NiiTeH 7

Sorry about this but "opportunity" is spelled wrong. On another note, I'm sorry for you :[

16 17
MCRaddict15 15

I noticed that too, but I felt if I pointed it out it would be rude. Thanks for doing that for me (:

11 8
TheArchAngel 8

11- It wouldn't of been rude if you had put it nicely....

9 3
alshygirl 14

Wouldn't have* :)

19 2
mheeke 0

It actually is spelled correctly. Check it out before you comment.

7 21
TheArchAngel 8

38- Actually, FMLs are posted THEN checked for grammar/spelling errors, so when #7 had read the FML (and several others) it was spelled incorrectly, but at the time you had finally got around to the FML, it had been grammar checked.

13 0
r0bin_fml 3

No, 'wouldn't have' is wrong! Otherwise it be read: 'It would not have of been rude... etc', instead of just, 'It would not of been rude...etc'. :)

2 10
piff7 14

No um they meant instead of saying "of" you should have said "have" aka: "It wouldn't have been rude" when you speak it sounds a little like you say "wouldn't of"

0 0
Myo_fml 20

Let's have a grammar lesson, shall we? Of is not a possessive or past tense term. Of is a reference term. Have is either possessive or referring to a past event that one should HAVE done. "should of" : What? What is "of" of? A race of nymphomaniac penguins? Now, when "have" is too long, we make what is called a contraction. After all is done, we get "should've" .

2 0
SammySteel 6

Free sex just wasn't enough for the Fool.

96 3
pdp_fml 21

Of course "free sex" isn't really free you know. There is providing a house, food, clothes and the rest of it.

9 39
Yourheadache 19

No you fool, you dont have to live together to have sex...

19 6
pupsi 3

Yaaa just pay some money on prostitute house hahha

0 16
ohSNAPyall 26

22 What makes you think he provides all that for her? He thought she was on a business trip. She sounds like an executive or a salesperson.

24 1
iHeartRKO 5

Seriously 25 I'm starting to think you really look like that.

10 2
MochiDango 4

22- Not all men pay for the women's needs, hell there are times when I had to pay for my boyfriend, so no, not all (there are most certainly more than, as a woman I would like to mention... For shame ladies!!) women are gold diggers like men assume them to be. Honestly, I'd rather pay for my own stuff so when it comes to a divorce or break up, I won't lose my crap.

6 4