Love: Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying...

By Noname - 09/03/2009 17:04 - Canada

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 336

You deserved it 8 683

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 10/06/2016 14:28 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. My wife came in and thought I was jerking him off. She wouldn't believe my explanation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 709

You deserved it 1 127

By Puppy Loverr - 25/08/2011 07:12 - Australia

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 430

You deserved it 4 840

By Anonymous - 13/09/2012 05:30 - Canada - Campbell River

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 142

You deserved it 5 388

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 417

You deserved it 6 699

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285 861

You deserved it 68 136

By Username - 02/08/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 473

You deserved it 5 294

Doggy style

By failuretolaunch2 - 26/02/2015 03:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I'm dating a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 552

You deserved it 4 895

What the…

By bunny - 16/08/2009 13:58 - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 325

You deserved it 5 005

By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 730

You deserved it 8 310

By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 202

You deserved it 26 141

greenfairy_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 0:31

you should have said "at least someone can get it up"

Yunie_fml 0

Monday 9 March 2009 23:02

Nice guy. Been together long?

Comments

hassenpfeffermmm 0

Tuesday 18 May 2010 17:17

Who hasn't been called stingy?

DeadlyAlice1725 0

Tuesday 22 June 2010 1:00

omg. to everyone says 'break up with him' or 'dump his ass,' maybe he was joking? yall need to get a sense of humor. seriously.

2an1a 4

Sunday 5 September 2010 1:19

burn!!...lmao...nasty stuff

Moo_Horse 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 18:49

that happens with my cat rasputen..... awkward

predialien 1

Friday 19 November 2010 1:26

try sucking the dog

yelad93 4

Wednesday 9 March 2011 16:15

did u mean your ex boyfriend?

marebear347 1

Wednesday 6 April 2011 8:47

BURN.

hateevryone 14

Friday 17 June 2011 22:26

dump him and tell him you have a new boyfriend who doesn't complain about you "turning him on"

ifmlftw 0

Monday 20 June 2011 7:18

goddamnit when are girls going to realize that guy joke around like this. calm the **** down

xShankstah 1

Saturday 1 October 2011 17:18

Bahahaha, this made me laugh so hard I coughed. XD.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

You deserved it 184

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 940

You deserved it 46 020

The Top

Today, I was issued with a £60 fine for being parked in a supermarket car-park for more than 3 hours. I work there. FML

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You deserved it 2 474

Today, I was walking around my house without a shirt on after my shower. I picked up my cat and walked around the corner… Just as my dad turned on the vacuum. Now I have 6 rather deep bloody holes in my shoulder and chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 172

You deserved it 8 211

Today, I learned that instead of discarding expired products at my work, we change the label to make them 'expire' later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 195

You deserved it 2 989

Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 360

You deserved it 2 941

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic and trick me into missing my flight, so he could spend another day with me before I have to return to Asia for work. There is nothing romantic about spending 2 hours trying to sort out a new international itinerary with Delta's automated menus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 901

You deserved it 2 278

Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 461

You deserved it 8 668