Love: Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying...

By Noname - 09/03/2009 17:04 - Canada

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 336

You deserved it 8 683

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 10/06/2016 14:28 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. My wife came in and thought I was jerking him off. She wouldn't believe my explanation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 709

You deserved it 1 127

By Puppy Loverr - 25/08/2011 07:12 - Australia

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 430

You deserved it 4 840

By Anonymous - 13/09/2012 05:30 - Canada - Campbell River

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 142

You deserved it 5 388

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 417

You deserved it 6 699

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285 861

You deserved it 68 136

By Username - 02/08/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 473

You deserved it 5 294

Doggy style

By failuretolaunch2 - 26/02/2015 03:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I'm dating a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 552

You deserved it 4 895

What the…

By bunny - 16/08/2009 13:58 - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 325

You deserved it 5 005

By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 730

You deserved it 8 310

By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 202

You deserved it 26 141

greenfairy_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 0:31

you should have said "at least someone can get it up"

Yunie_fml 0

Monday 9 March 2009 23:02

Nice guy. Been together long?

Comments

ticklemepink188 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:38

ouch! agreed with #3

MisterIcee 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 6:20

That's pretty funny..

dramakat11 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 21:03

Break up with him! If he says it was a joke tell him it's not funny.

overachiever 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 22:41

What an ass. Dump him.

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Wednesday 29 July 2009 19:09

"Kick him in the ****"? LMAO

adelulf 0

Friday 13 November 2009 19:45

Quick wit for a douchebag.

Anteezy 7

Sunday 20 December 2009 18:55

Red rocket!!!

ImpatientFemale 0

Friday 8 January 2010 21:04

cupsie89 0

Friday 29 January 2010 23:18

RED ROCKET!

thatisjank 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 5:38

he was probably just joking around...haha boyfriends do that FYI.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 794

You deserved it 16 308

Today, I tried to nicely talk to my daughter about her rapid weight gain. Having a family history of weight-related illness, I felt it was necessary. I offered to get thyroid tests, teach her to buy healthy food, and start routine exercise. She told everyone I called her a cow and had fat-shamed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 192

The Top

Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 836

You deserved it 3 011

Today, I was so parched I had to take way too long at the water fountain. I was drinking for so long a line started to form. As I finished my drink, the guy behind me puked on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 403

You deserved it 520

Today, I was on a conference call and digital meeting at work when I got bored and started surfing the Internet. Little did I know that my desktop was being shared. My boss was on the call and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 687

You deserved it 37 775

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 988

You deserved it 3 558

Today, my mother arranged for me to meet the man she is planning to marry. Turns out, my future stepfather is also my creepy old boss, who spent 4 months hitting on me before I quit a year ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 78

Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 607

You deserved it 43 947