Money: Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for... - FML

By greenhide8 - 28/05/2011 05:27 - United States

Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 007

You deserved it 46 100

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By winner winner chicken dinner - 26/09/2018 05:00

Today, I finally won at bingo after playing every Thursday night for months. It was a $750 bingo. I split with 85 other winners. My share was $8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 747

You deserved it 625

By Anonymous - 20/02/2016 08:21 - United States - Pomona

Today, I went to a bingo club with my gran and won the second game and a butthurt old lady accused me of cheating. I ended up being taken aside by an apologetic member of staff and asked to leave. I'm still trying to figure out how you can even cheat at bingo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 918

You deserved it 1 448

Bingo is serious business

By earlytermination - 06/09/2015 03:31 - United States

Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 074

You deserved it 2 448

By Anonymous - 11/08/2012 14:20 - United Kingdom - Bishops Stortford

Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 485

You deserved it 8 891

Dopamine rush

By thiscantbereal00 - 07/01/2022 14:02

Today, I went to the casino and put $500 into a game and lost it all. I tried another $100 and won it all back, plus some. Instead of walking out ahead, I kept trying to hit bigger and ended up losing all my rent money. Rent is due and now I can’t pay it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 3 646

By goodbye sweet internet - 06/07/2013 18:23 - Greece - Athens

Today, after playing numerous games of poker against my friend, and him telling me that I'm the best poker player he's ever met, I went out and played for real money. I got totally destroyed, lost all of my money, and was laughed out of the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 369

You deserved it 50 175

By Anonymous - 11/10/2010 09:07 - Canada

Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 378

You deserved it 6 081

By aianmoo16 - 01/05/2016 21:52 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was at a mini arcade and accidentally put a hundred dollar bill through the quarter machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 436

You deserved it 9 182

Wanker

By sourgirl101 - 01/03/2023 06:00

Today, while buying lottery tickets, I mixed up "jackpot" and "scratch off" and asked for "$10 worth of jackoffs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 527

By janedoe - 12/02/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 796

You deserved it 12 740

Next

Top comments

AScic1 3

Saturday 28 May 2011 11:53

You're a swearing, iPhone using elderly person?

tpike1296 11

Saturday 28 May 2011 11:58

Well, you'll need a holy **** to feel better after this.

Comments

t_fml 11

Saturday 28 May 2011 16:30

wow.....so an elder using fml?

kristy0314 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 16:35

Awesome !!!!!

Jjustin 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 16:38

did u really get that exited over $50

JawDropJuliaxD 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 16:40

watch your mouth!

stevenmx86 7

Saturday 28 May 2011 16:44

44, I was thinking the same thing there have been a lot of those lately

FlipInBrosky 4

Saturday 28 May 2011 17:25

You totally deserve it. But I bet it was all worth it, it's only $50

Shadow_Phantom 26

Saturday 28 May 2011 17:48

*facepalm* People should learn to not be so damn sensitive. Cussing is perfectly normal. FYL.

fruitschinpo 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 18:11

lol. he could have been $50 richer if he had some MANNERS !

rhysfucker 24

Saturday 28 May 2011 18:29

that's funny shit!

AliciaicilA 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 18:31

HAHAHAHAHA xD that would be me

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Keywords

Public freakouts Health Relatable Scams Geek Music Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Transportation Cops Kids Fight Family AITA Mother in law Miscellaneous Relationship advice Social Media Love Art Work Students Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication

The Top

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 006

You deserved it 21 832

Today, I asked out a girl I’ve been hanging out with for a few months. She said, “That’s kind of gross.” When I asked her about, it she said, “My friends will think you’re creepy” followed by, “You’re not actually a creep, they say you look like one.” I groom myself every day like a normal person. FML

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You deserved it 101

The Top

Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 252

You deserved it 3 274

Today, as I returned home, I noticed some movement inside my house. Thinking it was a break-in, I called 911. It was my friends and some coworkers trying to throw me a surprise birthday party. Nobody's said a word to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 077

You deserved it 8 932

Today, while still desperately trying to be civil to my ex for the sake of our kids, I went round to his flat and found him passed out drunk with his air pistol on the floor. He’d been using pictures of me as targets. I think "civil" might be a hopeless goal at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 334

You deserved it 170

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend, the love of my life. Actually I ran into a billboard for her college, where apparently she is the new "poster girl" for their advertising campaign. I have now seen her on 2 billboards, a newspaper ad and a bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 835

You deserved it 3 445

Today, I was jerking off when my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes… that I now have to explain to my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 430

You deserved it 10 468

Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 580

You deserved it 916