Money: Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for... - FML

By greenhide8 - 28/05/2011 05:27 - United States

Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 007

You deserved it 46 100

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Same thing different taste

By winner winner chicken dinner - 26/09/2018 05:00

Today, I finally won at bingo after playing every Thursday night for months. It was a $750 bingo. I split with 85 other winners. My share was $8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 747

You deserved it 625

By Anonymous - 20/02/2016 08:21 - United States - Pomona

Today, I went to a bingo club with my gran and won the second game and a butthurt old lady accused me of cheating. I ended up being taken aside by an apologetic member of staff and asked to leave. I'm still trying to figure out how you can even cheat at bingo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 918

You deserved it 1 448

Bingo is serious business

By earlytermination - 06/09/2015 03:31 - United States

Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 074

You deserved it 2 448

By Anonymous - 11/08/2012 14:20 - United Kingdom - Bishops Stortford

Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 485

You deserved it 8 891

Dopamine rush

By thiscantbereal00 - 07/01/2022 14:02

Today, I went to the casino and put $500 into a game and lost it all. I tried another $100 and won it all back, plus some. Instead of walking out ahead, I kept trying to hit bigger and ended up losing all my rent money. Rent is due and now I can’t pay it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 3 646

By goodbye sweet internet - 06/07/2013 18:23 - Greece - Athens

Today, after playing numerous games of poker against my friend, and him telling me that I'm the best poker player he's ever met, I went out and played for real money. I got totally destroyed, lost all of my money, and was laughed out of the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 369

You deserved it 50 175

By Anonymous - 11/10/2010 09:07 - Canada

Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 378

You deserved it 6 081

By aianmoo16 - 01/05/2016 21:52 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was at a mini arcade and accidentally put a hundred dollar bill through the quarter machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 436

You deserved it 9 182

Wanker

By sourgirl101 - 01/03/2023 06:00

Today, while buying lottery tickets, I mixed up "jackpot" and "scratch off" and asked for "$10 worth of jackoffs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 527

By janedoe - 12/02/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 796

You deserved it 12 740

Next

Top comments

AScic1 3

Saturday 28 May 2011 11:53

You're a swearing, iPhone using elderly person?

tpike1296 11

Saturday 28 May 2011 11:58

Well, you'll need a holy **** to feel better after this.

Comments

CEG3 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 18:37

Tourettes Guy moment xD

kei1108 13

Saturday 28 May 2011 18:40

You probably shouldn't talk like that. Especially in public. it's rude. YDI. but that does suck though. so FYL too!

lvgurlie89 6

Saturday 28 May 2011 19:22

The older you get, the more money you have to put in the swear jar. If you were a kid it would've only cost you 25¢.

kbball95 7

Saturday 28 May 2011 19:31

shouldn't you have yelled bingo instead? lol

CheerCraazy 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 20:38

**** is not holy! :)

mustangs85 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 21:03

thats what you get for playing bingo..

slcpunk588 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 21:58

you must've sounded like the turrets guy, saying such profanity

doubleodoggy 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 22:08

haha nice!

mante_fml 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 22:23

stupid ass

ElenaBeattie 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 22:42

lol that is funny

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Keywords

Health Relatable Public freakouts Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Bikes Transportation Cops Family Kids Fight Miscellaneous AITA Mother in law Social Media Love Relationship advice Art Work Students Animals Birds Sleep Noise Mental health Contraception

The Top

Today, and every time I try to talk to my mother about being a lesbian, she just says in the most condescending way, "Oh no you're not sweetie, it’s just a phase." The "phase" has lasted 17 years, including marrying my wife and adopting twin sons, but sure, it’s “just a phase.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 731

You deserved it 229

Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse, and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 408

You deserved it 8 930

The Top

Today, when I was visiting my dad in the ICU, the nurse was trying to help him sit upright and his dick and balls plopped out of his hospital gown for everyone to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 146

Today, I was turned down for a job because they thought I lied about having a six-month internship. Why? The secretary I told off for stealing my lunch every single day told them she hadn't heard of me, and the new company won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 588

You deserved it 301

Today, we had to have our vet put our horse down. Afterwards we were discussing burial options. We then find the cat with a broken neck. Had to have her put down also. Now we have animal services questioning us for animal abuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 000

You deserved it 3 866

Today, I got a call from the guy I'd been seeing for a few weeks. It was his wife calling to find out what was going on with us. He told me he was separated. He left his kids home alone to hook up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 889

You deserved it 5 016

Today, my mom screamed in my face that if she could go back in time, she’d rather have put up with the 3-minute pain of being fucked in the ass like her boyfriend wanted, because then she wouldn’t have had 13 years of pain raising me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 901

You deserved it 328

Today, while at school, some jerk shot me in the foot with a BB gun. While in agonizing pain, I yelled, "FUCK" as loud as possible. A teacher walked by, oblivious to the fact I had just been shot with a BB gun and wrote me up for, "Disrespectful language". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 323

You deserved it 1 602