Intimacy: Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed...

By sadinthesack - 31/08/2009 18:56 - United States

Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 887

You deserved it 10 932

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Same thing different taste

By RollieCollieUSA - 30/01/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 724

You deserved it 6 662

By sixsix - 24/12/2008 11:19 - France

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 163

You deserved it 8 656

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 1 765

Careless Whisper?

By InsultToInjury - 28/12/2018 04:00

Today, I had a one night stand. After her laying there without moving for ages, she impatiently asked if I'd finished. Once she got bored and told me to just finish myself off, her song playlist began playing "Never Gonna Dance Again". Very romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 097

You deserved it 1 243

By fuckingads - 13/02/2017 19:00 - United States - Brookfield

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex to music, which we hadn't done before. I was getting close when it cut to commercial. I was so turned off by the idea of coming during an ad break that I didn't come at all. Thanks Spotify. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 686

You deserved it 2 138

Ed Shitren

By tommy - 20/12/2011 22:41 - United States

Today, after spending months learning how to play the guitar and memorizing the music to my girlfriend's all-time favorite song, I performed it for her. Her response? "Well, you kind of ruined that song for me now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 010

You deserved it 5 597

By imsorrylove - 31/03/2010 04:44 - United States

Today, I took pills to make sure I lasted longer with my girlfriend. Good news? It worked fine and is still working now. Bad news? We've been done for a good two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 206

You deserved it 33 110

Bored

By Taylor parsons - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 423

You deserved it 7 538

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 20:12 - Canada

Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 271

You deserved it 6 370

By waitforit - 23/04/2009 11:42 - United States

Today, I thought it would be really hot to watch porn while my girlfriend and I were having sex. I got so hot and aroused that I came before the previews even ended. That was less than one minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 371

You deserved it 93 747

vooper 0

Monday 31 August 2009 23:13

minute man, I CHOOSE YOU!

idratherbewrestl 0

Monday 31 August 2009 23:05

relax dont do it! when you want to come!

Comments

vrodnumb44 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 3:37

fag

aenglis2 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 6:05

wow.... no offense man but you really need to work on logevity unless she just likes a minute man....

desimonster 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 23:03

35 I'm pretty sure you can't be talking about making love based on yer pic

tawnibaby 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 22:23

I agree with 73(:

Stevieebabyy 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 6:15

That's enough for Lady GaGa's heart to quit.

loserboii 11

Tuesday 1 September 2009 6:25

don't worry I am only 14 and 7.5 and i last not to much longer

Baytheshark 14

Saturday 12 May 2012 16:38

That's sad. Your 14 and having sex. I feel bad for you.

blah123blah 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:56

Better than erectile disfunction, or pre- premature ejaculation.

Dynoblaze 1

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:58

average is 6 min. you need to double your time.

Audge 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:27

awh man dude. that totally sucks.

sovereign_fml 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 16:20

At least she has low expectations, I'd be so shamed to last less than 15. FYL, until you buy some "extended" pleasure condoms. :p

agony690 3

Tuesday 1 September 2009 16:59

you can only go that long?!?!?!? wow dude come on. wait dont come thats the prob

jessicadawg 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 18:58

Was she at least satisfied.? I'm a little embarrassed for you.

Keywords

Awkward Haircut Work Health Neighbours Mental health Dating Weird Love Doctor Christmas Parenting Kids My ex Social Media Instagram Break-ups Crush Sex Money Shopping AITA Anxiety Intimacy Wanker DIY Relatable Cars Miscellaneous Weather

The Top

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment. Things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another, and the next thing I knew, she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said, "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 224 126

You deserved it 35 801

Today, I went to a movie and a dinner with a girl. During dinner, she excused herself to go to the bathroom, so I checked my social media feeds while waiting for her to return. She'd posted on her Twitter "Worst. Ever." I thought it was going well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 644

You deserved it 3 028

The Top

Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 255

You deserved it 2 253

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend dumped me was because his parents don't like the fact that I go to a prestigious university. However, they're completely accepting of the drunken slob who's dating their daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 666

You deserved it 3 750

Today, my leadership class was trying to decide who would run the kissing booth in our local carnival. Someone suggested me, to which the director replied, "We'd never make any profit with her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 883

You deserved it 3 065

Today, I was proudly telling my husband that I only gained 8 lbs throughout the pregnancy thus far. I usually obsess over my weight, so it was a great accomplishment for me. He then turned and pinched my arms, saying, "Well, looks like all the fat migrated to your arms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 078

You deserved it 8 276

Today, I got sunburnt to a crisp on the first day of my holidays away. Only 5 more days to go now, spent inside, trying not to burn more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 233

You deserved it 3 568

Today, I was taking the AP Biology exam. It’s strictly timed, yet my proctor spent 30 minutes (a third of the time we have) talking about his sexual relationship with his wife, who was also proctoring. I don’t know how I did on the test, but I now know my proctor had erectile dysfunction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 199

You deserved it 3 535