Animals: Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in...

By benji - 01/11/2011 19:02 - United States

Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 397

You deserved it 38 577

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

Human! Come quick!

By He got a lot of treats for that - 09/03/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I woke up at the ungodly hour of 4AM to my cat clawing at my door and yelling at me. Normally I'd just wait until he stopped, but he was persistent, so I got up and opened the door to see what he wanted. He then corralled me to the laundry room. My dryer was on fire. Good boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 675

You deserved it 129

By nocatlover - 21/01/2010 21:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to the news that my son had put the cat in the dryer the night before. He didn't turn it on, and the cat is just fine, but now I need a new dryer so my clothes won't smell like cat urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 704

You deserved it 3 393

LET ME OUT

By jynxisadouchebag - 27/02/2015 00:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was doing laundry, and decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 425

You deserved it 5 835

Febreze time

By catpeecathy - 14/09/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I was looking in my laundry basket for a clean tank top to wear. As I felt around, I realized that most of my clothes were still wet after two days. After asking my mom what was wrong with the dryer, I found out that for two days my cat had been using my laundry basket as a litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 658

You deserved it 5 432

By HannaMD - 26/01/2015 15:21 - Canada

Today, my cat had the bright idea of giving birth in the dryer, on top of all my new white towels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 511

You deserved it 5 952

By JeffeeBojangles - 28/02/2012 12:46 - United States

Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 459

You deserved it 2 556

Alas, poor Tiddles

By SonOfACatKiller - 19/09/2019 08:00 - United States - Juno

Today, my mom asked me to pull out the load of laundry she'd stuck in the dryer. Instead of clothes, I pulled out my dead cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 604

You deserved it 131

Clever

By RyloGhyst - 12/12/2016 12:46 - United States - Killeen

Today, after putting the same load of laundry through the wash four times, I was wondering why my clothes kept smelling worse and worse. Turns out, my cat learned how to open and pee in the detergent funnel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 510

You deserved it 873

A Caturday surprise

By fucking cat - 02/03/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 216

By Never Again - 09/08/2016 18:17 - United States - Riverhead

Today, I went to collect my clothes out of the dryer. Thinking it would be fun for my small dog, I brought her with me. I put her down and let her sniff around while I put my clean clothes in a basket. I turned around from putting more clothes in the dyer to catch her peeing in my clean clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 343

You deserved it 4 296

SugarCrazy 14

Wednesday 2 November 2011 0:04

She threw it in the dryer, not the washing machine...

GRRSOM 7

Wednesday 2 November 2011 0:11

I think I'd be more afraid of you than that dryer... If I were that cat.

Comments

PiperWoods 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 5:54

The first sentence sounds awkward to me? I was hurriedly..?

bubo_fml 10

Wednesday 2 November 2011 5:59

"Happiness is a tight...well...Nevermind!"

LuisDaBeast_ 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 6:07

Lol for reals keep that to yourself man

line7 1

Wednesday 2 November 2011 6:14

Why? You like your pussy dry?

itsame0987 18

Wednesday 2 November 2011 6:30

Glad I scrolled down 117, I started singing that when I read the fml. Thank you for the laugh.

jlt9381 1

Wednesday 2 November 2011 6:44

Today, meow meow meow meow, mmmmmeow meeeeeeow meooooow meowwwww meow meow. FML

yeastybeans 5

Wednesday 2 November 2011 6:45

Was the cat at least clean?

tmrwisanotherday 1

Wednesday 2 November 2011 6:51

Has your pussy shrunk ?

jennawill10 10

Wednesday 2 November 2011 7:16

Is your cat still alive? Lol

GenyTrees 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 7:31

that what he/she gets for being a cat.

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The Top

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 188

You deserved it 11 911

Today, as I was cleaning up after my two year-old, I found a pair of lacy underwear in his toy box. Not only are they not mine, but now I have to ask my husband if he's cheating on me. Or ask my babysitter if she's being having fun, instead of actually babysitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 606

You deserved it 1 718

The Top

Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 490

You deserved it 3 148

Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 779

You deserved it 18 116

Today, I found out that the medicine I've been taking for my headaches is responsible for my headaches getting even worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 107

You deserved it 1 972

Today, I found one of those online color blindness tests where you have to distinguish a colored number from the pattern. Not being able to, I spent hundreds of dollars on medical tests to discover that the pattern online was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 456

You deserved it 71 332

Today, I copied some files to my phone while borrowing my grandfather's laptop. As I selectively deleted the files from the recycle bin, I noticed some pictures, and ended up seeing way more than I wanted to of his erect penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 021

You deserved it 9 902

Today, I was scrolling through my phone and saw a post from my nephew's mother, my brother's girlfriend. She has a swollen eye that my brother gave her. I've been telling him for months to get his temper in control, and now he's facing possible charges, and she's utterly traumatized. I wish I could cut off relations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 109