Miscellaneous: Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject...

By itstillhurts - 21/12/2009 04:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 564

You deserved it 35 748

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/09/2012 04:03 - United States

Today, I went to my favorite bar after work for a drink. On my way to the porch out back, I didn't realize the sliding glass door was shut, and walked straight into it. I was stone cold sober, but the bartender refused to believe me, and cut me off before my first beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 472

You deserved it 4 439

Fight Club

By MyFaceHurts - 03/08/2010 10:40 - United States

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 855

You deserved it 55 498

You're nicked

By DrunkenValor - 06/09/2009 04:03 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend got drunk. We tried to get him into a cab, he punched me in the face, three chavs then accosted me, accusing me of trying to mug him. I was then beaten up by said chavs and then the police charged me for being drunk and disorderly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 298

You deserved it 3 463

All over the place

By nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 668

You deserved it 8 840

By Anonymous - 24/12/2011 02:49 - Australia

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 149

You deserved it 41 733

By Caution - 02/10/2018 22:00

Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 193

You deserved it 587

By Anonymous - 24/10/2012 10:51 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 305

You deserved it 1 894

By AntSimo - 19/05/2009 07:46 - South Africa

Today, whilst presenting a report to the head of my college, I was arrested by a police officer for assault. I was in a bar the night before and accidentally bumped into a local tough guy on the way to the toilet. I got punched in the face. The witnesses got our names mixed up. That'll look great on my CV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 649

You deserved it 2 967

By Anonymous - 26/07/2015 14:27 - France - Paris

Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 697

You deserved it 13 774

By haappynewyear - 01/01/2011 03:21 - United States

Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 992

You deserved it 6 091

mhm_megann 0

Monday 21 December 2009 9:10

i woleheartedly enjoyed how english that fml was!

xd0rkiee 0

Monday 21 December 2009 9:07

Why would you even think that? Yes, pieces of glass flying onto you and cutting your face TOTALLY does not hurt.

Comments

wh4t3v3R 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 4:03

HAHA! This was the most random and hilarious FML I've seen in awhile. Is my dick a gnat's left ball or what?

bridgetoparadise 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 4:12

You and your friend sound like fun, I would go down the pub with you

Ut_vols 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 4:56

Only in ******* England

maybetomorrow_fml 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 7:47

If you break the bottom out first it doesn't hurt. I've seen this done several times. My bf's favorite party trick is to break the bottom out of a beer bottle and smash the rest on someone's head.

DarkSkullCat 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 8:54

LMAO! I almost fell out of my chair laughing. I'd love to have seen that; best FML I've read all night! FYL 'cuz you weren't really asking for it.

Maxine17 8

Tuesday 22 December 2009 14:46

What is Black Friday? Sounds like some kind of day appointed for Afro Carribbeans.

soccergirl09 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 4:45

Um, no. Black Friday is the Friday after Thanksgiving.

Mandog222 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 9:18

They joined WW one and WW two because they knew if Germany was going to take over europe they would be next.

Mandog222 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 9:20

America mostly donates money to improve its global reputation and it's the same thing for going to war. And why are we talking about this shouldn't comments be about the FML.