Work: Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment?... - FML

By hospital - 05/10/2010 23:36 - United States

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 105

You deserved it 5 668

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By dr mamour - 30/01/2013 21:57 - France - Paris

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 066

You deserved it 4 084

By not as scarred as he should be - 18/10/2012 18:19 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 756

You deserved it 3 341

By jonh_215 - 08/04/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 030

You deserved it 4 000

By WTFFAIL - 03/12/2012 05:06 - Canada - Montreal

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 568

You deserved it 8 989

By Anonymous - 31/03/2015 03:52 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, it was my first day working as a dental assistant, leaving me in charge of all cleaning. The first patient was so scared, he peed his pants. Which might have been understandable if he hadn't been a fully grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 485

You deserved it 2 471

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:46 - United States - Detroit

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 549

You deserved it 2 547

Wrong place, wrong time

By Matthew - 10/03/2021 00:30

Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 129

So, here's the thing…

By HairyBoobs - 05/11/2009 14:22 - United States

Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 406

You deserved it 6 881

By Buggga - 22/08/2009 09:07 - Australia

Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 075

You deserved it 12 593

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 701

You deserved it 187

Next

Top comments

knibbsy 4

Wednesday 6 October 2010 9:06

Man, you're new job is nuts! What a hairy situation. You did some hangin' around the office, only to get low-balled by your boss.

xxxbooxxx 16

Wednesday 6 October 2010 9:00

Eww!!

Comments

Jiujitsu77 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 1:19

sucks but hey at least u got a job.....at least I hope its well payed to be shaving an old mans balls...LOL

Axe_Cept 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 1:25

I agree w 25 - she hit it right on the head

laurennbunnyy 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 2:34

what is op?

SoccerChick4Ev 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 2:36

haha

vashthestampede 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 4:08

Yeah, your life defiantly sucks OP... still don't understand how this is the love category :|

perdix 29

Thursday 7 October 2010 6:42

If you were hot, his penis would stand up and get out of the way of your work area. If not, you'd have to hold that flaccid, old dick in one hand while you corralled the droopy balls in the other -- and then operate the razor with your mouth.

5t3ff1k4h 44

Thursday 7 October 2010 6:53

*shudders* Hopefully this dude had ED.

Hollisterbabe11 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 7:42

totally agree with 43. total HIPPA violation. you're not suppose to post things about patients on any public site or say anything at all! if you can't handle health care work then don't work in a hospital!!!!

ijenah 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 7:55

lol don't complain atleast you have a job!!

mR_StAtiiC 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 8:05

did you tell him " how's it hanging?"

whoisthisgirl 4

Thursday 7 October 2010 8:47

 delicious lol

4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Annoying Gamers Video games Abuse Relatable Birthday Social Media Scams Money Education Kids School Parents Public freakouts Health Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Cops Transportation Bikes Fight Family Gross Work Customers

The Top

Today, I've had a crush on a guy for a while - a friend of mine knows this. I finally decided to find out once and for all if there was any chance with him, so I drove to his house, armed with a home cooked meal and wine, only to find the very friend I confided in was at his house. It turns out they are now an item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 152

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 263

You deserved it 2 123

The Top

Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 084

You deserved it 445

Today, I worked with a sweet old lady. She refused to cook most of the food on the menu, and the food she did cook was super oily. When she received complaints about it, she blamed me for not draining the oil. When the customer defended me, she then told the customer it was her job to drain the oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 81

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 612

You deserved it 5 901

Today, a homeless guy tried to light my hair on fire with a match at the bus stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 971

You deserved it 2 676

Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend. She dumped me because she was moving to Wyoming. I guess Wyoming is code for my friend's apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 223

You deserved it 136

Today, I bought some new LED underglow lights for underneath my car. I was putting them on when my dad came out, insisted on taking over, and then proceeded to break them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 158

You deserved it 677