Something like "Hey baby, I just had the surgery.. Wanna see whose dick's bigger?"

Then she would have to show him, and rhey would be exactly where they started if not worse.

*They, sorry.

Or bring candy. Lots and lots of candy

.....what did you do then?

well its very simple, she wanted him to stick the pistol in her ass. or vise versa o.O

LOL win!

sounds extremely bad-ass, some would say even a little sexy. But that's if you were still together and you wanted to play cops in the shower. heh.

wow who know people could be so crazy

if it was three weeks later, how'd she get into your shower?

121, psychos have their ways.

He left the door unlocked idiot, duh ...

or she coulda used her psycho powers to find a secret passageway into his house. duh!

Running all the way to Canada from the Philippines would be pretty hard.

Actually, Filipino immigration is one of Canada's most looming issues of the day. Unfortunately for OP, they have already begun to reverse this national crisis: dam construction around all of Canada's most vulnerable borders has been in the works for the past few months now. OP, I would invest in a gun, and some galoshes.