Health: Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste... - FML

By lol - 06/12/2009 14:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste in my eye. I haven't been able to see clearly for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 781

You deserved it 4 017

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Same thing different taste

By Talented73 - 25/04/2017 20:00

Today, while brushing my teeth, I applied the toothpaste to my toothbrush when a few bristles got caught on the lip of the tube and flung a glob of toothpaste into my eye. My eye is now bloodshot, but at least it's minty fresh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 119

You deserved it 386

Ouch

By Anonymous - 31/07/2020 02:03

Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 543

By Noname - 09/11/2008 09:18 - France

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 679

You deserved it 13 849

By kewlio45 - 01/07/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 981

You deserved it 6 330

By Anon - 17/02/2012 20:43 - United States

Today, I sneezed while I was in the middle of getting a root canal. I managed to warn the dentist that I was going to sneeze, but he didn't manage to get the tools out of my mouth in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 584

You deserved it 2 085

By Walter_Sobchak7 - 12/08/2017 01:30

Today, while at work, a sneeze snuck up on me. Ever sneeze so violently your fake tooth shoots into the cubicle across from you? FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 563

You deserved it 334

By anon - 27/03/2015 20:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 924

You deserved it 4 779

By Anonymous - 07/02/2012 12:04 - United States

Today, I sneezed after watching a commercial involving dust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 203

You deserved it 6 901

By fmlpanda - 29/05/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 851

You deserved it 8 368

Would I lie to you?

By sarika - 24/07/2015 00:12 - United States - Appleton

Today, I had to explain to my boss that I was late to work because somehow my hand slipped when I was brushing my teeth, and I hit myself in the eye with the brush. I had to remove my contacts, wash my eye, and find my glasses. He didn't believe me, but at least my eye is minty fresh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 983

You deserved it 2 370

Next

Top comments

lwdjaymac 1

Sunday 6 December 2009 19:53

Use your other eye :)

donteatglue1 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 19:55

Then how are you writing this?

Comments

MMMMMAATT__TODD 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 23:02

how the hell did you manage that? when you sneeze do you sneeze inwards through your eye or summit?? XD

baby_gurl2405 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 23:08

how the hell did u get that to work... if so can you send me detailed instructions on how to do this that I can give to my brother? thanks :P

Danzergirl1 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 23:56

Bahaha!

Yeyo_23 0

Monday 7 December 2009 0:06

Howd u write this then?

TOADified 0

Monday 7 December 2009 0:23

The force of the sneeze probably forced the toothbrush into her eye

TiniMartini 0

Monday 7 December 2009 0:25

they couldve had someone type it for them

FMLjudge007 0

Monday 7 December 2009 1:07

agreed with number two, unless you kno how to type really good and even so why would you be on FML instead of trying to get help

WhyIsntLifeGood 0

Monday 7 December 2009 1:42

how could you keep you eyes open? even if you try its hard

h2icasis 0

Monday 7 December 2009 2:20

HOW THE HELL DO YOU GET TOOTHPASTE IN YOUR EYE!!!!!

slyace 9

Monday 7 December 2009 3:04

^Agreed, dont you sneeze down?....

poudycat 0

Monday 7 December 2009 3:53

Ok YOU GUYS ARE RETARDED. 'How did he write this'? HE SAID HE COULDN'T SEE FOR 2 HOURS. NOT THAT HE WAS PERMANENTLY BLIND! Idiots are from everywhere, aren't they...

LolWaitWut 0

Monday 7 December 2009 4:01

The OP is a woman, idiot.

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The Top

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 1 709

Today, I was told by my sister over the dinner table that some guy is telling people I’ve had sex with him; that’s not even the worst part. He’s telling people my sister walked in. One, I haven’t talked to him in years; two, he’s really not my type, three, I’m in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 1 897

Today, I realised exactly how bad my social anxiety has gotten when I had a panic attack watching someone ask someone else out on a fictional show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 243

You deserved it 288

Today, a guy took me to meet his parents on a second date. I stopped answering his calls afterwards, but he's just left me a voice-mail informing me that he's in love with me. I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 228

You deserved it 8 941

Today, I complained to my boss about how my printer wasn't printing colored ink even though I had just installed a new cartridge yesterday. Upon investigation, she noted that I forgot to take off the protection sticker from the cartridge. Good job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 280

You deserved it 29 900

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 673

You deserved it 3 469

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 547

You deserved it 5 912