Health: Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

By clitorasaurus - 21/08/2010 06:09 - Canada

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 608

You deserved it 32 974

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 481

You deserved it 7 414

Fighting fit

By AnonThoughts - 24/10/2019 06:00

Today, my body is so messed up that I pulled a muscle in my side while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 322

Fake it til you make it

By foreveralone15 - 24/06/2021 10:59

Today, I sprained an arm muscle while pretending to lift weights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 788

By Anonymous - 27/09/2014 23:55 - United States - Flemington

Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 641

You deserved it 6 554

By ThisGuy97 - 12/08/2011 20:46 - United States

Today, I pulled a muscle. Not in any kind of sport or exercise, but while reaching for my computer mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 938

You deserved it 32 281

By j4y - 29/01/2009 00:30 - Canada

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 088

You deserved it 6 638

By Bad at life - 18/10/2018 13:30

Today, I pulled a muscle in my face. Chewing gum. For the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 079

You deserved it 612

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 916

You deserved it 7 348

Pain in the ass

By Anonymous - 17/06/2021 22:01 - United States - Greenville

Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 117

High tension

By Discipl - 28/10/2014 03:00 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 103

You deserved it 5 951

rawrimaunicorn 0

Saturday 21 August 2010 16:28

...how the hell did you manage that?

knight0748 5

Saturday 21 August 2010 16:26

is your ass that large that you're having trouble wiping?

Comments

cutestrike 0

Saturday 21 August 2010 19:21

possible if your really into wiping your ass.

bayonet 0

Saturday 21 August 2010 19:32

op..FAIL

Griggy 0

Saturday 21 August 2010 19:41

Time to get a bidet.

j5p332 6

Saturday 21 August 2010 20:23

at least it wasn't someone else's part you wiped

MrDrMe 0

Saturday 21 August 2010 20:31

OP, you have to say ASS. Jeez!

pencilsupmynose 0

Saturday 21 August 2010 20:41

WTF????

lovablekennyXD 0

Saturday 21 August 2010 20:42

#73 your picture scares me lol

sweetv 0

Saturday 21 August 2010 21:14

that's called an "aggressive poop"

ShelbyJr 2

Saturday 21 August 2010 22:35

Today, I realized that there are too many idiots on FMyLife.com who think something like this is something someone deserves. Idiots. FML

RedPillSucks 31

Saturday 21 August 2010 22:50

OP, did you shove your hand so far up your butt that you were really brushing your teeth?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 786

You deserved it 16 306

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 167

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 45 512

You deserved it 5 124

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 993

You deserved it 26 997

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I agree, your life sucks 1 644

You deserved it 69

Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 136

You deserved it 8 131

Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 362

You deserved it 6 457

Today, my sister stole my bike and gave it to her boyfriend. When I told my parents, they said it was fine, because I wasn't using it anyway. The reason I wasn't using it was because it needed a new tire, and I was saving up for one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 656

You deserved it 901