Health: Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

By clitorasaurus - 21/08/2010 06:09 - Canada

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 608

You deserved it 32 974

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 481

You deserved it 7 414

Fighting fit

By AnonThoughts - 24/10/2019 06:00

Today, my body is so messed up that I pulled a muscle in my side while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 322

Fake it til you make it

By foreveralone15 - 24/06/2021 10:59

Today, I sprained an arm muscle while pretending to lift weights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 788

By Anonymous - 27/09/2014 23:55 - United States - Flemington

Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 641

You deserved it 6 554

By ThisGuy97 - 12/08/2011 20:46 - United States

Today, I pulled a muscle. Not in any kind of sport or exercise, but while reaching for my computer mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 938

You deserved it 32 281

By j4y - 29/01/2009 00:30 - Canada

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 088

You deserved it 6 638

By Bad at life - 18/10/2018 13:30

Today, I pulled a muscle in my face. Chewing gum. For the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 079

You deserved it 612

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 916

You deserved it 7 348

Pain in the ass

By Anonymous - 17/06/2021 22:01 - United States - Greenville

Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 117

High tension

By Discipl - 28/10/2014 03:00 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 103

You deserved it 5 951

rawrimaunicorn 0

Saturday 21 August 2010 16:28

...how the hell did you manage that?

knight0748 5

Saturday 21 August 2010 16:26

is your ass that large that you're having trouble wiping?

Comments

hayleybayy 0

Wednesday 25 August 2010 8:36

yes it is possible you can pull a muscle doing almost anything this is hilarious

violetsweety 26

Thursday 26 August 2010 2:02

lmao random fml

womenizer 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 2:00

haha loser

1smartgirl30 1

Tuesday 31 August 2010 4:00

idiot

LuvOldYeller 0

Saturday 11 September 2010 20:27

LMAO! THAT IS THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING I'VE EVER HEARD! LOL!

BasicXinstinct 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 19:41

i dont think i actually have anything to say to this......

sukhdeep 4

Friday 5 November 2010 1:58

I've done that before! lol. seriously! I have!!!

Nadinek98 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 21:38

wow u jacked Ur ass

Norther 1

Tuesday 29 March 2011 15:22

hhahahhahahaaaghaaaaagagagagghhahaahahahahaahahahhahahahahaahahhaha!!!!! :-D

krissi3 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 3:29

as opposed to spraining it wiping someone else's ass?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend for cheating on me. I refused his calls, so he texted, not to apologize, but to say I'd "left some clothes in his suitcase"; i.e., he stole some of my clothes. When he didn't get the response from me that he was hoping for, he texted, "I'm wearing your shorts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 120

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 166

The Top

Today, I just found out that my local drag strip, where the best races in my area were held, is being shut down to build a truck stop. It was sold out of nowhere, with no warning. It was the one thing that I actually looked forward to every week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 182

Today, while picking up a birthday cake, I was screamed at by an upset woman for getting special attention from the bakers, and that I was nothing more than an attention-hogging slut. The bakers are my co-workers and I was picking my cake up on my day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 922

You deserved it 1 940

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 312

You deserved it 3 821

Today, I love my boyfriend just as I always have, but I'm realizing I don't know if we'll last because he's an angry drunk. He drinks frequently, and I've talked to him about it, only to be met with, "I'm a grown ass man." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 205

Today, after not being able to sleep for two hours because my boyfriend wouldn't stop talking, he fell asleep and I was left wide awake. I listened to him snore for another three hours and only got a couple of hours sleep. He's not working today, but I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 420

You deserved it 3 321

Today, I'm thinking of quitting the awesome job I love with coworkers I adore, because I keep fucking up every part of my job, making them pick up the pieces and correct my failures. They don't deserve this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 254