Miscellaneous: Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because...

By fuck my goddamn life - 15/02/2014 20:51 - United States

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 553

You deserved it 4 833

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By emancipate me - 15/05/2016 19:59 - United States - Knoxville

Today, my mom was in a really bad mood, so I stayed in my room to avoid her. It didn't take long before she barged in and started bitching about my dog, who'd pissed her off by acting too happy. Yes, she's actually that insane, and I have to deal with it on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 219

You deserved it 1 474

Chill out, Mom

By poor girl - 27/06/2020 05:03

Today, my mom came over for dinner. She lost her mind, screaming and yelling, because my oven melted the dollar store cooking dish that she insisted on using. Never mind the fact I’m going to have to pay a couple hundred, if not a thousand dollars for a new stove. Oh no, she’s out a whole buck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 126

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 19/09/2013 17:32 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 874

You deserved it 3 323

Pyrotechnics

By Homeless for the holidays - 13/12/2020 22:58 - United States - Farmington

Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 128

You deserved it 125

Tubular Bells starts playing…

By so scared - 08/02/2014 17:13 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 682

You deserved it 6 201

Possession

By Anonymous - 10/07/2023 18:00

Today, my mom wants me to get an exorcism because piercings, tattoos, my own car, my own career, moving out of her house, and wanting zero contact with her from now on are "sure signs of demonic possession", maybe even the influence of Lucifer himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 117

"Tubular Bells" by Mike Oldfield starts playing…

By Sodapop40 - 21/06/2020 05:05

Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 124

By fml - 20/05/2010 21:32 - Canada

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 983

You deserved it 7 608

By Anonymous - 28/03/2015 04:39 - United States - Madison

Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 729

You deserved it 2 430

Fire hazard

By ThankfullyNotKickedOut - 26/08/2016 18:17 - United States - Coldwater

Today, I was trying to cook a pizza for lunch at my in-laws. I preheated the oven and took my dog out to go potty. I come back in to find the house filled with smoke, the detector going off, and a fire in the oven. Apparently, my mother-in-law left a tray of glass candle holders in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 570

You deserved it 4 129

badgrandpa 9

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:16

pretend to fall asleep and then act like you got possessed

eternal_malaise 10

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:25

Give her a list of your favorite baked foods that are known to repel demons.

Comments

oldgrump 6

Sunday 16 February 2014 13:37

don't disrespect your mother! especially - don't call her an idiot, even anonymously.

KingreX32 21

Sunday 16 February 2014 14:40

reminds me of the furnace from home alone.

metalhead88 9

Sunday 16 February 2014 15:13

You gotta watch out for those oven-demons, they aren't anything to mess with

xZrighteousZx 1

Sunday 16 February 2014 15:21

Did you ever think about trying to help your mom? Instead of letting her affect your life like that? I mean, it's just a possibility, you know, that hearing sounds from an oven might indicate psychosis, and guess what! People don't give psychosis to themselves!!!!! Go help your mom you ******* idiot.

janro72 10

Sunday 16 February 2014 15:37

It's just like Ghostbusters, just no the refrigerator.

skyeyez9 24

Sunday 16 February 2014 17:10

Did you at least open the oven or turn it on to see what the noise could be coming from? The noises could be because something is loose or broken. Hopefully it wasnt a cat she stuffed inside or something.