Health: Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance,... - FML

By emilygreeny - 18/06/2010 05:42 - United States

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 467

You deserved it 57 084

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By xoxoblondee - 25/02/2017 07:00 - United States - Valley Village

Today, I learned the hard way why no matter how constipated you are, it is never a good idea to use a suppository when you are tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 254

You deserved it 1 173

Stuck

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 133

By notgood - 04/01/2021 16:01 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I accidentally took an Ex Lax instead of an Immodium. It's gonna be a fun night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 311

By Anonymous - 26/09/2018 23:00 - United States - Perrysburg

Today, I got random constipation followed by diarrhea. It's 1:30am and my sleeping medication is making me fall asleep, but every time I try to get off the toilet I get another diarrhea spasm. Either I fall asleep on the toilet or shit myself in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 981

You deserved it 221

By Username - 30/04/2011 04:49 - United States

Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 123

You deserved it 7 963

Geometry

By sickpuppy - 08/09/2019 12:00

Today, I learned the hard way that when sick, throw up, then have diarrhea. Not the other way round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 418

You deserved it 164

By Anonymous - 18/11/2015 14:50 - Canada

Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 731

You deserved it 1 710

By michael - 14/02/2012 02:55 - United States

Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to take a dump out of a second-story window is a very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 191

You deserved it 41 998

Droopy

By creepingjennie - 05/06/2020 02:00

Today, I learned that working while taking muscle relaxers is not as fun as it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 539

By Anonymous - 01/10/2018 15:30

Today, I learned that one should not sleep with their roommate's friends, especially the ones that never go home. I spent the whole weekend in my room just to avoid the awkwardness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 568

You deserved it 3 502

Next

Top comments

lad088 0

Friday 18 June 2010 16:21

why would you even try that in the first place?

erikjh1234 0

Friday 18 June 2010 16:20

u got the squirts in your sleep!!! lmfao

Comments

sexysue 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 0:03

could of put a diaper on then your stupid idea of taking both pills would be ok. NOT! dumbass!! OP = original poster

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Saturday 19 June 2010 0:19

nocanhaz: I answered this question for you in ridiculous detail awhile ago; guess you missed it. It's on the FML about an OP needing 4 stitches on her elbow after cutting herself with a straw. Go check it out.

ToArthur2009 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 1:42

Fake. Sure this was on LFMF a while ago =

peppermintazn 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 1:45

crap.

xxBAMFxx 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 3:36

LOL sounds like you had "shitty nights sleep" xD

UnSatisfiedQueen 3

Saturday 19 June 2010 4:02

You woke up a shitty mess huh? That was very very extremely stupid of you. (Shaking my head with it slightly pointed down in a disgusted manner)

Kshanski 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 4:47

Did you get this from a Jimmy Johns sign? I think you did.

stewpididiot 11

Saturday 19 June 2010 7:42

Haha....Now we know your sleep number is 2 this is going on my favs fo sho !!

nichybabie 1

Saturday 19 June 2010 7:45

wow

Autoimmunity 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 7:53

ydi for not wearing a diaper

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I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 1 708

Today, I just learned that the silly song my parents taught me as a small child, and would sometimes make me sing for the family, is actually a very thinly veiled series of penis jokes. Why just now? Because I hadn't thought about it for years, until my grandma brought it up at a reunion. FML

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You deserved it 74

The Top

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You deserved it 5 053

Today, I went to Wal-Mart with my mom. She kept telling me to put my keys away so I wouldn't lose them. After a few times, I got annoyed and yelled at her. When we got back to her house, I realized I'd lost my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 3 000

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I agree, your life sucks 37 709

You deserved it 5 665

Today, for my 18th birthday my mum gave me a black lace thong. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 353

You deserved it 4 168

Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 783

You deserved it 3 191

Today, my boyfriend's dad's new girlfriend gave me a bar of soap, a sequin dress covered in her body odor, and a child-sized used Coach purse that smells like feet. She insists that I wear this outfit to their New Years Eve party. I gave them a bottle of expensive olive oil and a vinegar set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 088

You deserved it 744