Health: Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance,...

By emilygreeny - 18/06/2010 05:42 - United States

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 467

You deserved it 57 084

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By xoxoblondee - 25/02/2017 07:00 - United States - Valley Village

Today, I learned the hard way why no matter how constipated you are, it is never a good idea to use a suppository when you are tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 254

You deserved it 1 173

Stuck

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 133

By notgood - 04/01/2021 16:01 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I accidentally took an Ex Lax instead of an Immodium. It's gonna be a fun night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 311

By Anonymous - 26/09/2018 23:00 - United States - Perrysburg

Today, I got random constipation followed by diarrhea. It's 1:30am and my sleeping medication is making me fall asleep, but every time I try to get off the toilet I get another diarrhea spasm. Either I fall asleep on the toilet or shit myself in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 981

You deserved it 221

By Username - 30/04/2011 04:49 - United States

Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 123

You deserved it 7 963

Geometry

By sickpuppy - 08/09/2019 12:00

Today, I learned the hard way that when sick, throw up, then have diarrhea. Not the other way round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 418

You deserved it 164

By Anonymous - 18/11/2015 14:50 - Canada

Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 731

You deserved it 1 710

By michael - 14/02/2012 02:55 - United States

Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to take a dump out of a second-story window is a very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 191

You deserved it 41 998

Droopy

By creepingjennie - 05/06/2020 02:00

Today, I learned that working while taking muscle relaxers is not as fun as it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 539

By Anonymous - 01/10/2018 15:30

Today, I learned that one should not sleep with their roommate's friends, especially the ones that never go home. I spent the whole weekend in my room just to avoid the awkwardness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 568

You deserved it 3 502

lad088 0

Friday 18 June 2010 16:21

why would you even try that in the first place?

erikjh1234 0

Friday 18 June 2010 16:20

u got the squirts in your sleep!!! lmfao

Comments

iCommentFML 0

Friday 18 June 2010 21:57

Lmao just fall assleep on the ntoilet 

kennakatherine 0

Friday 18 June 2010 22:17

Yeah, this is a joke.

mylastserenade90 2

Friday 18 June 2010 22:20

well no shit, or in this case...

JojoPotatoe 0

Friday 18 June 2010 22:28

Shit happens, I guess... :-D

KoRn_Freak 1

Friday 18 June 2010 23:01

Well OBVIOUSLY! Dummy!

_GODZILLA_ 0

Friday 18 June 2010 23:33

You shoulda seen Tokyo during my druggie years.

LateNightTaco 0

Friday 18 June 2010 23:45

that must have been awkward in the morning. "oh shit. I shit." I feel stupid asking this, but what does OP stand for?

scarecrow1990 0

Friday 18 June 2010 23:49

no shit shirlock. but FYL anyway.

jonny2x4 0

Friday 18 June 2010 23:52

OMG! You shat yourself!!!!!!

jennabliss 0

Friday 18 June 2010 23:58

I would like to know how the hell you thought that was a good idea.

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Today, I tried dyeing my hair at home to save some money. I carefully followed the instructions but when I rinsed it off, my hair turned a shocking shade of shiity neon green. Not wanting to leave the house looking like a radioactive toad, I wore a hat and hoped nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 340

Today, my best friend’s girlfriend took his phone and blocked me on Facebook, all because I wrote him a heartfelt Happy Birthday message on his wall. I found out because he messaged me from another account explaining what happened. She refuses to understand that we’re strictly platonic friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 135

The Top

Today, I had to look up how to eat a mango on the internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 267

You deserved it 37 953

Today, a man held a door open for me while I fished my umbrella out of my very cluttered bag. As I was opening my umbrella, I turned to thank him for being such a gentleman. Instead, a tampon that had apparently wedged itself into the folds of my umbrella flew into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 339

You deserved it 5 978

Today, I caught my best and only friend snooping in my sister's underwear drawer. I don’t know if I should tell on him, or pretend it didn’t happen. What do I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 126

Today, I was driving home with my dad after buying a new truck. We were on the freeway and the engine wasn't revving up very much. My dad thought that something was wrong with my transmission, so he reached over to change gears. Most cars won't go into reverse at high speeds. Mine does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 226

You deserved it 3 122

Today, a sweet old lady gave up her seat for me in the bus. She lectured the entire bus that seats should be given to those in need, like myself who is "heavily pregnant." I'm just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 868

You deserved it 23 537

Today, in the middle of my haircut, the hairdresser went into labor. They never finished cutting it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 106

You deserved it 4 701

Same thing different taste

Stuck

Geometry

Droopy

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