By Allergic - 24/01/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife purposely eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 357
You deserved it 3 452
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Top comments

cradle6 13

That's...incredibly bitchy

300 5

Comments

Glidefedt 6

So if she gave you a *******.. It would increase in size? Have your meds nearby and get ready for some fun!

3 13
Hamcons 1

Tell her, "that's okay". Because you won't want to kiss her fat ass in the near future. Peanut butter and jelly is not going to make her skinny.

11 3
thewife5 19

I eat PB & J all the time.. So whatever

3 1
GoW_Chick 14

Yeah listen to "the wife" she knows what she's talking about...

3 3
smash8 4

Yeah I think she would know what she is talking about, considering she is talking about herself. That's just my opinion though.

2 0
GoW_Chick 14

You don't catch on to underlying meanings to quick do you?

3 2
thewife5 19

You don't get fat from eating PB&J.. You get fat from playing video games and post several times on every single FML posted.. Wait for it..

3 6
perdix 29

I see where this is going. Cash in your 401k and send all your money to a secret account in the Cayman Islands (where it can hang out with Mitt Romney's money), and get a job that pays you under the table in cash. Then, file for divorce. Or, you could simply brush your teeth.

13 2
Calyx_fml 21

She doesnt even want to kiss you?! Almond butter is better anyway. If she won't switch then divorce her. Seriously. You can do better.

2 4
manda_baby_rawr 4

I'm pretty sure that if OP is deathly allergic to peanuts, they're probably allergic to almonds as well. My boyfriend is deathly allergic to all nuts, even coconut somehow makes him sick even though it isn't technically a nut. Also, soy butter is better.

3 0
AshleyCole 0

Maybe you taste bad and she's too afraid to tell you?

1 0
obviousboy 8

Sounds like someone is going for **** of the year.

5 0
ilove80smetal 8

Next time before you go down on her. Eat a shit load of pepper. :)

5 0
Trembelwick 5

And this is where she puts a FML up saying 'today my boyfriend told me he cheats on me on purpose because I won't kiss him. FML'

1 0
theonlysweetpea 10

As someone with lots of allergies including nuts (all of them) I'd divorce her. Not exactly for what she did but why. At best she's a ****, at worst a scheming killer. Watch out OP.

8 0
Dracoboxer357 35

My wife is deathly allergic to mushrooms, which I really enjoy. Even if she insists I buy them for myself anyways, I never will. I like mushrooms, but I love my wife, definitely not worth even remotely chancing it. I agree with you, if OP's wife is either that selfish or murderous, he shouldn't be with her, IMHO.

5 0
Patts_fml 4

And by "man up" you mean die from an allegic reaction? Damn, that's hardcore...

6 0