Miscellaneous: Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot...

By hallofail - 01/11/2012 00:40 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 653

You deserved it 2 989

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Same thing different taste

By trick or not treat - 31/10/2009 22:26 - France

Today, I bought fifteen bags of candy for the trick-or-treaters. I sat outside with a bowl of candy the whole night. Only one person came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 376

You deserved it 7 225

By candice - 01/11/2011 09:09 - Reserved

Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 524

You deserved it 46 569

By halloweensucks - 01/11/2010 01:08 - United States

Today, I spent over an hour decorating my house for trick or treaters. I never got one person at my door because I forgot to unlock my gate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 444

You deserved it 35 496

Halloween, the long wait

By androidjezus - 03/11/2019 18:30

Today, I asked my girlfriend to get a bunch of candy for our first Halloween at our new house, so she got $60 worth. We got into an argument about who was going to give it out. It’s now 9 p.m. No one came to our door all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 775

You deserved it 465

By Anonymous - 01/11/2011 00:36 - United States

Today, one of my neighbors dressed up in the exact same costume as me. Every house I go to refuses to give me candy because my neighbor has already been there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 304

You deserved it 3 509

By ananymous - 01/11/2012 03:04 - United States - Spencerport

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 720

You deserved it 2 806

By halloweenless - 01/11/2010 13:14 - United States

Today, I spent over $160 and 2 hours preparing for a Halloween party I was throwing. The only person who showed up was my sister, who helped me decorate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 136

You deserved it 4 321

Halloween is cancelled

By iliveformystery - 31/10/2014 15:56 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 192

You deserved it 6 565

By Anonymous - 31/10/2010 00:00 - United States

Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 419

You deserved it 4 056

By nocostumeforme - 29/10/2011 16:01 - Canada

Today, I excitedly checked the mail to see if my Halloween costume finally arrived. It didn't. I live in an isolated city, so finding a costume by any other means than the Internet was impossible. I spent over $100 for a costume that I won't even get to wear this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 012

You deserved it 6 978

suboy 10

Thursday 1 November 2012 8:38

Was your light on???

gjortx 2

Thursday 1 November 2012 8:38

Well that sucks. At least you can eat the candy. My house got wiped out of all the candy by all the trick r treaters. Maybe next year.

Comments

AubreyDucrat 8

Friday 2 November 2012 3:54

That's so sad! Sounds like an adorable costume though!

baileymarie102 6

Friday 2 November 2012 4:08

At least you have 30$ worth of candy all to yourself!(:

Evath 7

Friday 2 November 2012 5:05

You sound like an absolutely lovely man.

88vivera 9

Friday 2 November 2012 5:48

That's sad

starmagick 3

Friday 2 November 2012 6:03

it's hurricane sandy's fault. halloween is postponed in my town/:

superHydrate 4

Friday 2 November 2012 6:39

Huh! At least you are not getting sued!

Techtacular 0

Friday 2 November 2012 7:00

You can send the candy to me! But sorry to hear, OP. it deffinetly seems like Halloween's dying.. This is so sad.

jmuhling 1

Friday 2 November 2012 18:00

Aw I'm sorry, you sound wonderful anyway!

Flora_fml 6

Saturday 3 November 2012 2:18

This is one of the saddest FMLs ever. I'm sorry, OP! That sucks. Maybe you can donate your candy somewhere?

Raelthelamb 31

Saturday 3 November 2012 4:45

At least you get to eat all of the candy!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and I was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 761

You deserved it 15 563

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 564

You deserved it 2 470

The Top

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 45

Today, someone told my girlfriend that I cheated on her. I've never cheated in my life. Instead of talking to me about it, she made a big post on Facebook about what a dick I am. Pretty much all the comments went along the lines of "What a bastard." and "Ugh, men are pigs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 078

You deserved it 2 016

Today, after finally getting a date with the girl I like, she invited her new boyfriend along as well. I ended up paying for their first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 788

You deserved it 9 965

Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 999

You deserved it 16 499

Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 386

You deserved it 5 365

Today, after waiting to losing our virginity together, we finally did it, only for my boyfriend to claim he doesn't understand how people enjoy sex, since he found the waiting stressful, the sex awkward and undignified, the orgasm unimpressive and so sticky, he was desperate for a shower afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 479

You deserved it 206

Same thing different taste

Halloween, the long wait

Halloween is cancelled

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