Agree that we don't have enough info to make 100% conclusive judgements. But you gotta admit, the way her bf went about things seems a bit douchy. If he just needed some time to think about it (babies are a big responsibility), he could have just told her he needed a bit of time and "left town" to think it over. If she's lied before or he suspected it to be another man's baby, he could've cried bullshit and asked to go to a clinic together to confirm the pregnancy or to get a paternity test later once possible. But to do BOTH, accuse her of lying and running out of town without another word instead of following up, seems pretty suspicious. Sure, you're right, maybe he's a great guy who just needs a little bit of time to think or who has good reason to suspect OP... but I feel that either way, his actions were not the best way to go about things. Definitely hoping for a happy ending for both of them though :3 Good luck OP!

I doubt that he would leave town if he didn't believe her. Sounds like he thinks if he just runs away she will give up and not make him take responsibility.

original poster

i agree with you all the way!

Well I admit that that is a massive problem there is a third party in the equation: the child. And legally speaking, the judge will always make a ruling in the child's best interests. I just don't see any judge agreeing to allow someone to sign a waiver that will permanently absolve them of any responsibility towards a child that they helped create unless they pose a danger to the child. Especially since the child is the completely innocent party in this situation. On the other hand, you can't force a woman to abort or keep a pregnancy as it is her body. It does suck that it has to be this way but this is a very complex situation

True. It's a shame that men can't take part in the physical changes that women face when becoming pregnant. If they could, women, as well as men, would probably be better represented when talking about parenthood, not to mention that they'd receive a bit more sympathy when dealing with deadbeat parents. Look at it this way: it's one thing to want a kid and not be able to have one with your significant other, but expecting a child when you don't want one or haven't planned for one is another matter entirely. You can always adopt as a solution to the former situation, anyway; a kid doesn't need to share your genes in order to call him/her your own or to deserve your unconditional love. There's only so much you can do when you add an unplanned human into the mix, including giving it away for adoption and the emotional consequence that carries, inducing an abortion if you decide not to have it, what raising the child will be like if you decide to keep it, and the social stigma you face when people see you with the child on your hip (without the other parent around).

I wish I could like this multiple times. People tend to think every kid is a blessing, but can be a terrible burden emotionally and finically especially if the child wasn't planned(doesn't sound like it was or that they were even planning for one).

Nope. I'm a woman, and I agree with you. I'm also childfree, so I advocate for any solution that allows people who don't want to be parents to avoid making at least two people's lives miserable!

It takes 2 to tango. If you don't want to get a woman pregnant don't have sex, wear protection. If you make a human being it's YOUR responsibility to take care of it, because that's what an adult is supposed to do take responsibility for ones action. Not "sign a waiver" ...we're talking about a LIFE here not a property.

And yes you indeed got, "down thumbed"

It takes two to tango but only one has any say /at all/ in what happens if you get her pregnant. She has sole control over what happens to the fetus. I have no issues with a woman being in control of her body. But being able to destroy through misguided love or sheer maliciousness, that I take issue with.