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By  barbie08  |  0

12- you are seriously fucking retarded. who ever said that was her ex?! And no hunny DON'T kill your precious baby! Congrats(: And if he's not man enough to take care of his baby then your probably better off with out him anyways. Remember; it takes a BOY to create a baby BUT a MAN to raise one. Be strong for your little one. My prayers are with you. And best of wishes(:

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  rkcraig53  |  0

The pill is free, if you have no money. So why force a guy into a relationship with you. Even if he stays now, research shows 98% that do stay, and/or marry because of the baby trap will eventually hate you and leave you within the first 5 years (2 yrs. avg) for the entrapment that you knowingly used against him. He is sick now! Hate soon to follow!

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  HKgirl  |  0

rkcraig53 : You have a lot of nerve assuming that kind of crap about the OP. She didn't purposely get herself pregnant. A lot of guys refuse to wear condoms, AND if you're under a certain age, you have to have permission to get the pill, free or not.

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  lovemysnubber  |  0

62 why does everyone forget adoption!!! seriously if you don't wanna see the kid closed adoption if you want the kid in your life but can't take care of him/her open adoption...geeze

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  GRyphonLJJ  |  0

#91 - No one forced the guy to not take precautions like say a condom or getting his tubes nipped before having sex. There is nothing here to say the OP was trying to trick or trap him. Not projecting are we? Baby making takes two. Period. If either party does't want to get pregnant...BOTH should be taking precautions. Even the vaunted pill is only 99%. ~ Signed Married Mom of a Pill Baby. :)

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  GRyphonLJJ  |  0

#126 ~ Projecting much. Nothing here says OP tried to trap him. It does say he ignored the time old truism "No glove. No love." Do the Math dumbass. It takes two to make a baby. OP's sorry excuse of a bf CHOSE to have sex and by default chose to run the risk of pregnancy as no precautions, short of surgery, other than abstinence are 100% effective.

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  jennniferlea  |  4

thats it, im nixing this convo right now! The baby will grow in her body, not the guys. Women need to tell thier guys that if they cant use protection, they don't get none... period. Most young guys are known for being cowards and running. It is up to the female to MAKE SURE they dont get pregnant by either taking bc or making the guy use a condom, really. Take resposibility for yourself; no one else will and no one else HAS to.

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  rkcraig53  |  0

Oh yea, it's just as important for both people in a relationship to insure a bastard child is not created because they both will be equally affected. Only an fool believes this! First, WHO, has the best options to prevent pregnancy? The pill, 99%. used with foam spermicide, virtually 100%. Planned Parenthood will give virtually any girl that can walk in the door birth control for FREE! Who is the one who will get knocked up? Who has to carry the baby 9 months? Who gets cut so she doesn't tear? Who has to give birth? Who has to get an abortion? Who suffers the most, if your boyfriend feels baby trapped and leaves. He WILL eventually leave you. 90% + YOU, are the thief of his youth. You made him the father he was years away from wanting to be! You gave him the bastard child he doesn't want. You went from a nice piece to a living horror story! You are his Nightmare! Who suffers the most financially? For life? He will be able to tell that you WANTED this baby, when you will not abort, or put baby up for adoption, and ONLY want to have the baby, and him, to be it's father! Young Girls with Babies out of wedlock make up the majority of the lower income and poor! It's a major indicator! The guy can just leave! If he truly wants to, he can never pay a dime or suffer a minute for knocking up this temp love toy who tried to keep him with the baby trap. in the least, it's highly likely she didn't try to prevent this from happening. Most girls report that they use the baby trap when their "true love" begins to cool off and stray away, and feel there is NOTHING wrong with this, because he was having sex with her, told her he loved her, over and over again, and now her Lover doesn't want her so much anymore because he's had her and is ready to move on to greener pastures! These women think they only need a baby trap to bring their TRUE LOVE back! But it usually backfires, and SHE will suffer, possibly, the rest of her life. It's far more important for the female to make SURE they do not get pregnant until they know that the father has the will and ability to support her and the baby and be a husband and father. The peril is far greater for a single girl with a bastard child.

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193: I could start a major debate over some of your assumptions and opinions, but I'll refrain. I'll just say that not all Planned Parenthood and/or local health clinics just hand you the pill for free. They generally limit their services to the uninsured or underinsured. You're often charged for the bc and visits, including a yearly pap and any needed follow-up appts., but the fees are determined by a sliding scale based on your or your household's income. You also pay more for contraceptives other than the basic Ortho pill, like IUDs, patches, implants etc.

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  sammy22  |  0

People can choose what they would like to do... It effects their whole life. What if rents disown her? I'd rather pay abortion, sorry But people should take into consideration all options:-)

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  looney_bin  |  0

That is pretty true, #82. Guys with this mindset are easy to spot by their mannerisms. Too bad we have to pay as taxpayers when she needs government support....

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  tmhcrd_fml  |  0

abortion is wrong, in my opinion. if you think you are grown and mature enough to have sex then you better be ready for the things that come with it..which include pregnancy.

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  zine_fml  |  5

Facebook [email protected] :)

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  rkcraig53  |  0

So the guy who knocks her up and takes off like a bat outta hell and "He woulda been a bad DADDY" and you can do better! NOT SO MUCH! SURE! You Go Girl! NOT! I would think it may be a little hard to do better in the MAN HUNT with a baby in or out of the hanger. Those who do come calling on single, pregnant and poor, normally aren't the higher end of the available Daddy man pool! Then she ends up repeating the entire clusterbang again. Its unbelieveable! But true. New Dude, No birth control, no job, no car, no house, food stamps, gov. aid, oops, kid #2, on the way. Dang, he runs off! Then they need everybody else to support them, and the only thing they do well is BREED!

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  ILEUX  |  3

I thought you know a fat woman when you can't see her belly button anymore but for a pregnant woman, her belly button kind of sticks out?

By  Jimboom  |  11

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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  ktbird  |  0

Wow there's a lot of assumptions. It doesn't say he is her ex. For all you know they could have a pretty stable home for a child. But sure let's just quickly jump to abortion since that just solves everyones problem. Kudos to you OP if you choose to keep the baby.

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  barbie08  |  0

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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  Jimboom  |  11

Talk about assuming a lot. You too are making lots of assumptions. And he could turn out to be her ex. Walking out on a girl like that generally doesn't make them want to keep them around. And having a kid is a BIG responsibility. If the OP and her boyfriend haven't even taken the next step in their relationship to even get engaged then they shouldn't even consider having this kid. Not to mention the fact that if he just straight up and walked out then they probably haven't even discussed the possibilty of having a kid. If they can't take responsibility for their own relationship then how can they take responsibility for another life?!?!

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  ktbird  |  0

If she doesn't want to take responsibility for the baby, it's incredibly easy to find adoptive parents. Abortion should be the last resort. I find it incredibly disrespectful to all the single mothers out there that you think the baby doesn't have a home.

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  ktbird  |  0

By the way, hi, welcome to 2010. Weddings are expensive as hell, as are engagement rings. My husband and I lived together for 5 years in a steady home before we were engaged in the traditional sense. We still have not had a traditional wedding because we are paying for it and don't have enough cash saved up. There is a lot more to marriage than "the next step". I'd say as early as 1 year into our relationship we were settled enough to be able to raise a child. "It is a poverty that a child must die so that you may life as you wish."

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  Jimboom  |  11

I'm sorry #41. But a wedding is only as expensive as you make it. A engagement ring is only expensive if the woman wants a rock. You could have a cheap little gold band and a cheap little wedding at the registry office. It doesn't have to be expensive. You thinking it has to be just shows how selfish YOU are because you want the big traditional wedding and YOU want the big expensive ring. So don't go playing off the problems that you yourself are creating by saying it's just the way it is. Just because you have a major chip on your shoulder about abortion don't go forcing others into your views. It is a woman's right to choose. You seem to think that a foetus's potential life is worth more than the mothers. And that her wants and needs should take second place just because she got knocked up.

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  ktbird  |  0

Wow some more baseless assumptions. My ring is very simple, I think it was under $400? But it suits me. I am not having a big traditional wedding. In fact the idea of a big traditional wedding sounds horrible to me, but we have always wanted our wedding to be special. We are planning a destination wedding with only immediate family members and best friends, but don't want to burden our parents with the costs so we have to save for a few years to not go into debt over it. The whole thing was his idea, actually. If you actually knew me, you'd know I'm one of the least materialistic people you'll ever meet. I'm the kind of girl that wears no makeup and the same pair of sneakers every day. I own 2 pieces of jewelry that I wear 24/7, my ring and a cross around my neck. I have plenty of friends that aren't married but have a wonderful home for their children. The happiest little girl I know is a 6 or 7 year old whose parents are unmarried but have been together for a decade. My point was saying "I do" doesn't magically make a home any better or worse than it already is.

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  ndizzle  |  0

Jimboom, I like that logic: abort the baby because we wouldn't want it to have an unstable home life. How compassionate of you! Just because it is currently a woman's choice (in the US) doesn't mean it should be. What if the baby is female? Where's her choice? You remember those inalienable rights we have as humans? The first one, what was it again? Oh yeah, life. The mother does have a choice: have sex or don't. When she does, she assumes the risk of potentially getting pregnant and the associated responsibility. There are plenty of great options after birth if she doesn't feel capable of raising the child. And you may want to look into when science says the child is "alive" (hint: it's way before birth).

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  Jimboom  |  11

See there you go again with the assumtions ktbird. First assumtion you made is that people actually give a damn about your life story. Second. $400 is a lot to some people. Whats wrong with a simple gold plated $20 ring? And lastly, a wedding is between you and your other half. You don't even need anyone else there apart from that. Though I will give kudos to your man for wanting to do a destination wedding. I eloped when I got married and I highly recommend it. And besides, I never said that saying I do was the be all and end all of having a happy, stable home. But if you can give yourself and your heart to someone else 100% with no reservations then you at least stand a chance of being able to give a child a happy home. Oh and #72 I'm so happy you like my logic. It is rather sound is it not. ;-) And who says life is an inaliable right? The government? The bible? The Pro-lifers? Like all of those have never been right or open to misenterpretation? Yes, we all have a right to live. But why does the woman have to give up her right to live and have a life (metaphorically speaking) just because she made a mistake of having unprotected sex? And I know science says life begins before birth. But 24 weeks is still the legal to get an abortion in most places. And since you seem to be all about human rights you should accept that. And yes, there are other options. But why subject that child to the being put in the system when no matter how much they are loved by their foster parents there will always be that question in the back of their mind as to why their parents didn't want to keep them. But I will agree with you that the OP shouldn have kept her legs shut!

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  ktbird  |  0

Did you even read the post I was replying to? If that person didn't care to hear about my life they shouldn't have called me selfish and attack me for having characteristics which I don't possess. I didn't assume anything; I was replying to a personal attack.

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  marcranger  |  28

jimboom and ucofresh = right on the mark! that there's still a debate among scientists, the experts who should know best, as to when exactly life starts means that the rest of us can't possibly know for sure either. if you really feel that life starts once you have a fertilized egg, great, just keep it to yourself and have the kid. I personally would go with the point where a fetus can feel pain, which is a whopping 22weeks into the pregnancy, as a good cutoff, but it is a woman's choice until the baby is born. don't force her to ruin two lives (three if the boyfriend comes back into the picture).

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  GRyphonLJJ  |  0

#12 ~ News flash...The pill is NOT 100% effective. Anti-Biotics, grapefruit juice and a host of other things can reduce the effectiveness down to 60% or even lower. ~ Happy Surprised Mom of a now 20 year old "Pill Baby."

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  VeilOfVelvet  |  0

You are right. And the excuses that people come up with to try to justify this are unbelievable. One girl told that that "just because something has a heart doesn't mean it's alive", and another told me that "it has no birth certificate to prove it's alive". Does that mean that if my birth certificate was ever destroyed in a house fire, I would drop dead? No, I would still be alive because I have a heart that's beating, bloods that's pumping, and lungs that are breathing, two of which were things that kept me ALIVE when I was in my mother's womb. You don't have a choice when you have a kid. You have a choice to have sex or not, and if you had sex, then you are responsible for what happens. There are no "accidents". Unless you accidentally had sex, that's no excuse. If you can't go into it knowing that there are risks and that you are going to have to take responsibility for your actions like a mature adult and a civil human being, then you aren't ready to have sex. If you don't want to raise the baby, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the choice of adoption. There are couples who are on waiting lists for years at a time before they can even get an interview by a pregnant woman looking to give her child up for adoption, and yet $7 billion a year is going towards killing millions of unborn children who could have had the chance to live a good life with someone who wants them. It isn't birth that means someone is alive, it isn't a birth certificate that means someone is alive, it is a heart. People who are pro-abortion really need to just accept that and stop trying to make excuses. It's time to evolve and use some common sense.

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  VeilOfVelvet  |  0

Um, what about the part when the child's heart starts beating? That's where I would say life starts (if it wasn't already alive before). And that happens only 18 days after conception, which is usually before or around the time when a woman finds out she's pregnant. So even if a woman does get an abortion soon after she finds out, the baby already has a heart that's beating, and yes, that does mean that it's alive. Dead things don't really have heart beats.

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  Jimboom  |  11

#139 Fair enough, the pill doesn't always work... but there is always the morning after pill if your not sure. ;-) Lol VeilofVelvet. You crack me up. I'm going to take a pot shot here that your are quiet religious. Because usually only religious people go on that much about how it is so wrong to abort. Oh and why not use that common sense you seem to hold in such high esteem and look at this picture logically. On a global level the world is not large enough and doesn't have enough resources to allow every woman to have a child, or indeed more than one child. If every teenager who got knocked up had their child and then every one of those children got knocked up and had children of their own we would fast approach critical population mass. Oh you may sneer and go "What tosh, the world has infinite resources and can sustain as many of us as we can push out. Plus the bible tells us to go forth and multiple so it's god's will", or some such shit like that, but the cold hard facts are that unless we take this hard stance and either stop young people having sex all together (I don't see that happening any time soon) or neuter some of the population then abortion really is the only answer to this problem. Don't get all pissy just because it's not the answer you were after.

By  barbie08  |  0

12- you are seriously fucking retarded. who ever said that was her ex?! And no hunny DON'T kill your precious baby! Congrats(: And if he's not man enough to take care of his baby then your probably better off with out him anyways. Remember; it takes a BOY to create a baby BUT a MAN to raise one. Be strong for your little one. My prayers are with you. And best of wishes(:

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  Jimboom  |  11

Hmm, another pro-life basher. I only said Ex because if he doesn't come back then he is hardly still her bf. Unless your one of those bunny boilers who think that they are still in a relationship even though the guy told them they were through months ago. Yes it takes a man to raise a child. So your saying the mother should keep the child just because they were silly enough not to use protection? So the mother has to give up any hopes/dreams or career she may have had or wanted to have just because she was knocked up? And again bring the child into the world as a single mother, without a male figure in it's life. I'm not saying that she can't do it. But in the long run the last thing this world needs is more little children born into a broken home (and thats broken as in only 1 parent). If I were that kid I would resent her for such a thing!

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  Jimboom  |  11

Indeed. If she brought me up in a broken home and without a strong male figure or put me up for adoption, all because of her moral high horse that abortion is murder I would have resented her for that. You can't miss what you never know.

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I agree with 102, I'm happy living with my single mom. And the reason she's single is because my dad died 3 years ago, you don't know the situations about single mothers..

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  ktbird  |  0

If a woman has to raise a child alone, that's the father's fault for not being a man and taking responsibility for what he created (excluding death or him not knowing...) Placing the blame on the woman for keeping the kid is just crazy...

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  VeilOfVelvet  |  0

That is complete and utter bullshit. Unless you were brought up in a "broken home" without a father, don't talk. Not having a father activily in your life is not a reason to be dead. It's hardly catastrophic. Like you said, you don't miss what you never had =) My mom and never got along, but I was always grateful that she never aborted me. I wouldn't trade the gift of life for anything, and the fact that you think you would over something so trivial is a bit concerning. And yes, the mother DOES have to put her hopes and dreams on hold and take care of her child because she was silly enough not to use protection. Why wouldn't she? She knew what could happen if she had sex, and she ran that risk. It's her own fault, and if you don't pay for your mistakes, you're only going to keep making them over and over and over again without ever learning your lesson and becoming a better person. That's how life is.

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  TheDrifter  |  23

If the child's life is a mother's choice, where is the father's choice? Or do all these people believe in using the uterus as leverage to force a man to be responsible for a woman and her choice for two decades?

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