Miscellaneous: Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if...

By Michael tee - 11/08/2011 20:11 - United States

Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 367

You deserved it 5 026

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Same thing different taste

By mannydanny - 01/09/2011 23:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 189

You deserved it 5 034

By verycre8tive - 21/05/2009 07:31 - Romania

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 618

You deserved it 2 723

By nick - 06/03/2011 01:42 - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 433

You deserved it 3 813

By TKPhai - 05/04/2015 03:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 191

You deserved it 16 468

By Alex - 20/06/2014 22:05 - United Kingdom - Greenford

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 442

You deserved it 4 162

By Steve.mc - 01/05/2011 07:03 - Canada

Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 459

You deserved it 7 974

By Anonymous - 12/12/2010 21:55 - United States

Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 239

You deserved it 4 583

By sexybelly - 26/03/2015 08:35 - Australia - Parramatta

Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 868

You deserved it 4 623

By Anonymous - 14/08/2012 15:42 - United States

Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 933

You deserved it 1 767

Chubby life

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 18:00

Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 573

You deserved it 287

vballcutie08 6

Friday 12 August 2011 1:03

I've never been brave enough to ask, I was afraid I'd get an answer like this one..

bellakaykid 6

Friday 12 August 2011 1:03

Yes, that counts.

Comments

shocky377_fml 0

Friday 12 August 2011 16:13

Yea im too afraid to ask and its kind of awkward.

ih82bl8 2

Friday 12 August 2011 17:07

U asked

GEFStryker 29

Friday 12 August 2011 19:08

I could have sworn I had another comment on this FML. Mr. Daniels, why do you my my head hurt so?

Raheemdplayer 7

Friday 12 August 2011 19:54

Why do people care so much if they were planned or not? OK it sucks so FYL but YDI for caring

Lenho 26

Friday 12 August 2011 20:26

Yeah. Don't ask what you don't wanna know.

Stain92 14

Friday 12 August 2011 20:28

Does it really matter? You we're born and they kept you. They could have taken you into the country and let you run free in they wanted.

Playful1985 9

Friday 12 August 2011 22:17

You shouldn't have asked, it was a different time. Just be happy you're here.

portcaveman 5

Friday 12 August 2011 22:36

same here

kali12_fml 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 4:00

That sucks I was planned

Under_paid_Goril 4

Sunday 14 August 2011 8:35

Hah, just about as bad as birthday sex baby child (AKA me!)

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The Top

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 2 048

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 087

You deserved it 18 231

The Top

Today, my dorm had a mandatory meeting about body image. I went to the meeting and left feeling all good about myself. As soon as I got back to my room, my favorite jeans ripped right across my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 700

You deserved it 4 822

Today, the new person that I was supposed to train didn't show up for the second time in a row. They only had one session with me, and nobody is able to tell me what I'm doing wrong. This is the third time in two years. I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 98

Today, I still don’t know how to act in front of my mother in law. She thinks that the Earth is flat and told her kids that all sunscreens cause cancer. She also has other theories that make me feel weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 106

Today, I called my mom to ask for some help with my dishwasher. Somehow, the call got turned into a video call. I was wearing a bathrobe, and she was naked in her bathroom. Most awkward call ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 042

You deserved it 5 011

Today, I realized I agreed to go to the gym with my fiancé after being on my feet at work all day because he wants to get fit, but he will not help me remodel the house I’m working on so we can have a bigger place to live, because he doesn’t feel like it. I don’t want or need to go to the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 299

Today, things were getting heated between me and the guy I like, and we were about to have sex. I told him to turn the TV off so we can get started. His response? "But I like this show." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 606

You deserved it 6 029

Same thing different taste

Chubby life

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