Intimacy: Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very... - FML

By eaa145 - 03/03/2009 21:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158 372

You deserved it 18 254

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Same thing different taste

By lame - 20/10/2009 14:04 - United States

Today, for our 2-year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 292

You deserved it 7 554

By Nickolas Neffster - 05/10/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 105

You deserved it 3 103

By She totally did not cheat - 15/08/2018 22:00

Spicy

Today, for our third anniversary, I gave my fiancée a necklace she always wanted. She gave me herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 330

You deserved it 266

It's the thought that counts, or something

By Henji - 10/12/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I gave a girl I like a $200 diamond necklace to express how much she means to me. She gave me a hug and told me she didn't want to lose me as a friend. Nor did she want to lose her new necklace. Today, I got a $200 hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 074

You deserved it 41 912

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 20/01/2023 10:00 - Australia - Peakhurst

Spicy

Today, on my 11-year anniversary with my wife, I bought her a nice necklace and we went to an Indian restaurant where we had the most sensational banquet meal. When we got home, I suggested we made love, to which she replied, "I don't like you enough to do that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 224

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 20:00 - Canada

Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 970

You deserved it 7 327

By nuttedthefout - 28/04/2011 13:16

Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 615

You deserved it 9 623

By Anonymous - 05/07/2009 04:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, it was my boyfriend and my six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same. So I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What does he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 207

You deserved it 9 872

By I_Lossed - 03/11/2009 11:02 - Australia

Today, I asked my girlfriend about a diamond necklace I bought her for her birthday, which she didn't seem to be wearing. She then told me she hocked it to pay for her inexpensive phone bill. I paid $1,500 for that necklace, she received $300 from the pawn shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 493

You deserved it 4 774

By Anonymous - 26/08/2015 07:45 - India - Kolkata

Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 678

You deserved it 3 505

Next

Top comments

ChaosZirconia 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:45

...bitch.

Brown5922 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:39

ohhh haha nice gift from you... but i guess your not performing well?

Comments

ZoloF7 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 5:20

I wouldn't mind another inch or two. :D

RatIsKing 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 4:14

ooooooh...that's bad

HayItsHaley 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 23:53

First they whine you're faking orgasms. Then they whine you're trying to help them.

dvs01 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 5:52

None of this makes any fuken sense. Male enhancement pills don't make your penis grow bigger, they just help it become erect. They, like viagra, are actually very good for enhancing sex. This is where most people's ego get in their way. No matter how awesome your sex it, stuff like this WILL MAKE IT BETTER. There is nothing wrong with making it better. It's similar to smoking some weed before sex. It's just more fun. I don't understand why you think that your wife wanting to give you a cool sexual treat is ruining your life. Wtf is wrong with you?

nachoh22 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 2:49

YGI for havin too small of a dick or suckin in bed

Compass 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 22:52

@23 You doing anything next Friday?

billybob171717 0

Sunday 21 March 2010 8:02

next year get her a kindle

fallout_new_vega 0

Monday 26 April 2010 7:27

umm I can't think of any punsso I'll just say it plainly her pussy is probably 8 inches wide

lmno123 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 8:11

Ydi for having a small penis!

wolves91 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 23:27

dude your an idiot that's awesome next anniversary give her breast implants and let her buy you a watch or something!

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 167

Today, I found out that if you put tea bags into a cup of hot water, the tea bags will melt. The result: You get to drink and chew tea leaves at the same time, with little bits of actual tea to help make them go down. 0/10, do not recommend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 337

The Top

Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 969

You deserved it 4 122

Today, I babysat for a woman for the first time. When I arrived, there was a large pile of dishes in the sink. I decided to wash the dishes for her while the kids napped. She came home, noticed it, and bitched me out over how I'd only done it "to try and get more money" out of her. What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 836

You deserved it 2 094

Today, I mowed our lawn without being asked. My sister wouldn't stop yelling at me for not checking with her, because she wanted the grass to get long enough to "play jungle" in. My mom sided with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 849

You deserved it 124

Today, while at my boyfriend's cousin's birthday party, I was hanging around with his sister as I didn't know anyone. She was talking to some friends when one of them asked her, "So, is your brother still going out with that crazy chick?" Her answer was to introduce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 466

You deserved it 4 353

Today, I was hanging out with friends when my ex called me, but I ignored the call because I don’t want drama. About five minutes later she shows up and starts yelling at me on how I’m so worthless and useless. She left almost immediately after this, but when I went home she was talking to my fiancée. Like, WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 117

Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 087

You deserved it 40 091