Intimacy: TMI Mom

TMI Mom

By Grossed out - 14/02/2009 21:37 - United States

Today, my mother was driving me and my friends to a wedding. My friends and I were talking about birth control, and then my mother chimes in, "Yeah, I used to use the sponge, but the spermicide would always burn your dad's penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 421

You deserved it 7 285

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/07/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 067

You deserved it 3 887

By accident - 14/02/2014 22:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 046

You deserved it 5 821

By dpl - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 570

You deserved it 5 629

By not as scarred as he should be - 18/10/2012 18:19 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 756

You deserved it 3 341

By my honest father - 10/07/2013 16:33 - United States - Kansas City

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 055

You deserved it 3 747

Thanks Mom

By Enko - 09/11/2008 07:43 - France

Today, my mum was watching a program about sexually transmitted diseases. Later on, she started telling me that I should be careful and use the right protection when having sex. Suddenly she stopped and said, "Actually, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you don’t have a boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 573

You deserved it 5 247

By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 107

You deserved it 4 186

Thanks!

By uh-oh - 21/07/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, dropped a condom on the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 104

You deserved it 30 894

By thanks mom ¬_¬ - 24/08/2013 22:05 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 699

You deserved it 4 730

By unfortunate - 30/06/2013 04:45 - United States

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 136

You deserved it 3 191

Peavey_fml 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 2:29

Hey, you talk about birth control or anything sex related around the parents, expect the hear some things you didn't want to know from time to time!

TryToBeKind 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 2:54

Actually, that was pretty nice of her to give you a head's up (pun not intended until now).

Comments

Peavey_fml 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 2:29

Hey, you talk about birth control or anything sex related around the parents, expect the hear some things you didn't want to know from time to time!

forever2life 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 2:14

exactially! if your old enough to use birth control ( most times meaning that you have sex) you SHOULD be old and mature enough to hear input from other people, including your mom. stop being an immature dik head

BelleBelle_fml 11

Sunday 7 August 2011 1:08

Dik head? Really? Who's the immature one here?

effyoubitch 5

Thursday 3 November 2011 4:10

And exactially...

TryToBeKind 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 2:54

Actually, that was pretty nice of her to give you a head's up (pun not intended until now).

midnyte 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 3:27

Awww, mom. Thanks for sharing. We're bonding!

Hannah_fml 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 5:23

#3- I'm 19, but it's 100% natural. They probably think it's gross to hear 15 yr olds talking about sex. Lots of people have sex, it's a fact. Deal with it. #7- I agree 100%

casanova_fml 0

Tuesday 17 February 2009 13:11

are you retarded? i plan to completely humiliate my kids...especially in a situation such as that. It's likely to be just as awkward for her to hear about your sex life as you to hear about hers. Suck it up